Christmas Funnies ....... put them up here for a laugh!

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  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198 ✭
    We'll be by the water for Xmas, but by the lake, with fishing rods & kayaks!!  :)

    I don't often eat at the beach @Kattykit  - I have HORROR memories of sand in my food as a kid - just the thought of it makes me want to throw up!  :(  

    We are just minutes from 4 beaches too - isn't it just a wonderful backyard to have??  :) 

  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,766 ✭
    Image result for funny australian seasons greetings
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,961 ✭
    @arpie One ofy party tricks is folding those serviettes...they rise impressively!  Select audience, only.
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198 ✭
    edited December 2018
    An old man and his wife hadn't seen their son & daughter in years, unless they paid their airfares to visit them!!  So they hatch a 'plan'!!

    The next day, the old man calls up his son in Toronto and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
    "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
    “We can't stand the sight of each other...any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Vancouver and tell her," and he hangs up....

    Now, the son is REALLY worried. So he calls up his sister.  She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.

    The old man turns to his wife and says "Okay, they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,766 ✭

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198 ✭
    That's a cracker @kezmusc - stealing THAT one!   LOL

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