Why is it so hard?

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  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    I honestly don't think you ever get out of this feeling.  I'm still in active treatment and so I'm not as experienced as many of the survivors here but I think something has fundamentally "slipped" in my psyche.  The best I can hope for, I think, is to absorb this and keep on going.  It doesn't mean that I can't rage at the injustice of fortune.  So, @12paws - I don't think you're wrong in what you're feeling (I was going to use another phrase but I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW TO SPELL ANYMORE).

    And I can easily imagine how losing your dog has stirred things up.  We love our pets and they return that love and give us support.  I lost my beautiful cat in traumatic circumstances a few years ago, and while we now have another wonderful moggie, I will never forget Merls (or for that matter, my cats that came before).  I have tears in my eyes, typing this.
  • P
    P Member Posts: 7 ✭
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    I second the comment above. I used to think a lot.before committing to doing anything. Think about politics of it...financial side of it....social correctness etc.  Now I just do it all. Not think. Just commit first and do it later and never think too much about it. Life is really simple we make it so complicated. If not anything else I have learnt that live simple and do what you enjoy. Earn less have less friends or whatever but be happy. 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    I'm saying yes to more stuff and hang the consequences too @P. Interesting.
  • Josephine66
    Josephine66 Member Posts: 79 ✭
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    Why is it so hard? For me its because before BC I could and did fix everything that was broken. Now I'm broken and i cant seem to fix myself and always looking for solutions. 

  • 12paws
    12paws Member Posts: 7 ✭
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    @p and @kmakm I’m also more inclined to just do things now (when I’m not moving around feeling sorry for myself). I used to be much more timid socially and now I’m
    more inclined to say f it, I don’t care what others think. It’s all so surreal. I still feel like did that really happen to me?  Of course it did I’m covered in scars and have weird hair so it must be true. I think losing my dog has really set me back. The vet just rang to tell me her ashes are back and I’m in tears again. Bugger.
  • 12paws
    12paws Member Posts: 7 ✭
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    *moping not moving. Damn auto correct. 
  • Doin'it
    Doin'it Member Posts: 377 ✭
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    @12paws So sad. My beautiful best buddy was bitten by a tiger snake & passed away last year & I was & still am devastated
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    I think go for it and have a really big cry. You're crying for your lovely doggy and crying for yourself. I can't believe any of it much of the time. I still just want to wake up and find it's a horrible dream.

    All my adult life I had a lot of sensation in my right breast (the scene of the crime). I realised on the way home today that I hadn't felt it for over three months and that I never would again. I miss it. I'll get used to it of course but there'll always be a part of me that will be sad.
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    Isn't it strange? I used to be far more outgoing but I find myself hanging back now, even with my friends.
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,962 ✭
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    Dear @12paws

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