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Panic Mode

FionaJFionaJ CanberraMember Posts: 2
edited July 2018 in Newly diagnosed
Hi Everyone, I am 48 years old and have been diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma. I am scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy this Tuesday 24/7/18. Any further treatment to be determined after surgery. I am at the beginning of my breast cancer journey, and somewhat aware of  the difficulties ahead for me.  My mother had breast cancer 10 years ago and I had investigations for a lump that turned out to be a cyst about 14 years ago, so I was having bi annual mammograms. My cancer was picked up in a mammogram on 8/6/18 and confirmed on 13/6/18. My surgeon was going away on annual leave, so put me on Tamoxifen for a about a month, stopping this about 1.5 weeks ago ready for surgery this week. Unfortunately the downside of having this time means that now it's so close, I'm in full panic mode! - clear


  • Trikki2Trikki2 Member Posts: 284
    Aw hun..its such a scary time..i had lumps removed but no mastectomy at this stage. Going through chemo. Breathe and know we are all here for you. Xxx
  • melclaritymelclarity Member Posts: 3,415
    @FionaJ I'm actually taking a break from the Forum but I saw your post and I didnt want you to feel isolated right now. 

    Firstly Welcome to you! Your panic and fear is very understandable and it is overwhelming. I've been on the Forum for a few years and it really was such a great place to come for support and know that people do care and understand completely every step you are going through. I've been through the works LOL over the past 7yrs and I know last year facing my single mastectomy was the scariest part of the whole thing.The emotional drain and panic I had was debilitating and so raw, I found talking with a Psychologist that I had seen a few years prior was of enormous help. It helped me get into a mindset and I walked into the surgery and the week leading in, full of tears. Afterwards I cried once when home and that was all. I had an immediate diep flap recon as it was a year after treatment and due to a recurrence at the 4yr mark. Whatever stage you are at, know with a surety there are many here been down this road and who can help enormously.

    Please dont feel alone in the midst of this, its normal and natural, so deep breath and one thing at a time, I found when I pulled myself back to one thing at a time it lessened. I recommend talking to someone if you can manage prior to the surgery I honestly do. I do remember the fear was worse than the actual surgery but emotionally it is alot to deal with so please be extra kind to yourself. Melinda x
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,961
    Hi @FionaJ the next few days will be a bit of a blur, it's a tough time in your life and noone volunteers for this ride.

    I've had two bouts of BC, ten years apart, so I'd have been having my first treatment about the same time as your mum. Things have changed quite a bit since then. It's difficult when you have watched someone else's experience to not have a preconceived idea about how things will go and how you will manage your own treatment. The hard lesson is taking every day as it comes until you get a better idea about what your own personal situation is. 

    Hang in there, if you haven't already connected with a breast care nurse, the time spent in hospital is a good opportunity to do that. There is no point telling you not to be frightened, but if you are having straight mastectomy with no reconstruction, there is every chance the emotional trauma is worse than the physical and you may be surprised at how little pain there is and how quickly you recover. Best wishes. Mxx
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,538
    @FionaJ I completely get it.  I was diagnosed with ILC on 5 December from a screening mammogram.  I went in for partial and then back in for a mastectomy and clearance when it was found to be twice the size originally thought.  All I can say, in addition to what @melclarity has said, is to try to breathe and take it a step at a time.  Your path will become clearer once the path report comes back after surgery.  I found that the surgery itself is not so bad.  Yes, there is pain and you do need some help with things when you come home but it is manageable.  How you feel about the surgery is a different matter.  Take care and ask any questions you want to.
  • FionaJFionaJ CanberraMember Posts: 2
    Thank you ladies. Your support means a lot to me. 
    There have been a few tears, some nausea and I feel like I'm about to hyperventilate. I know I have no choice. So I will take that deep breath and try to push the overthinking away.
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 3,756
    SO sorry to hear your diagnosis. .. my ILC was found early and in Jan I had breast conserving surgery/lumpectomy followed by radiation and now hormone tabs.  Difficult tho it is, try not to 2nd guess the process. The waiting for results is hell .... and we hope you get clear margins.  Xx

    Lean on your family and friends. .. let them help you out with chores like shopping and meals etc (if they offer.)  

    Take some good earplugs into hospital with you as well as an eye mask to help you sleep  (like they give you on planes) as they are noisy well lit places! 

    Everyone's recovery time and treatment differs,  so try not to use Dr Google ... it will do your head in.

    All the best for your surgery snd results .... take care and we will be thinking of you xxxx
  • Giovanna_BCNAGiovanna_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 1,513
    Hello @FionaJ

    Welcome to the online forum.  You will find many generous members sharing and supporting each other here.  Understandably you are feeling very apprehensive and worried before your surgery this coming week.  Hoping that you have some support at home, family and friends.  Have you connected with a breast care nurse?   Be kind to yourself over the next 2 days, do what helps you cope best when you are feeling panicked and worried.  Dont hesitate to call our helpline tomorrow for information, support or just to talk to one of the nurses.  Wishing you all the best with your surgery on 24th.  

    You may find the following links helpful in getting started online

    Navigating the online community

    BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258 Monday to Thursday 9 am till 6 pm and Friday 9 am till 5 pm.

    If you need some directions or get stuck online please just message one of the BCNA online moderators @Giovanna_BCNA@Marianne_BCNA@Riki_BCNA@Rosie_BCNA

  • Kiwi AngelKiwi Angel Sydney, NSWMember Posts: 1,951
    @FionaJ so sorry u have had to join us here but you will always be supported here and get some great advice. It’s all such a scary and overwhelming experience xoxoox
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,091

    Great advice give already and to be had throughout the forum.  No matter time of day or night there's always someone about!


    the link above should help you to understand your type and an opportunity to explore the BCNA website as well as this forum

    Take care
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 5,336
    It is terribly hard waiting. I kept busy doing research on headgear as I knew I was having chemo. I went to the dentist for full clean and check and then religiously kept it up through treatment. You could get some cooking done to make  life a bit easier. All these things can help.
    Do you have a breast care nurse? . There should be one attached to where you see your surgeon. They might be able to give you some support pre surgery also. 

    Any questions that pop in your head...ask away. No question is dumb.

    Kath x
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 2,392
    All the best for your upcoming surgery. Little hint is hang your bathroom towel down low as reaching up will be difficult for a while and use a smaller lighter towel as well. When you go home, if it was like me and only overnight stay, make sure you have some painkillers like Targin at home.
    I do miss my missing breast but I did get angry with it for failing me and almost killing me so I have come to terms with it all now. Hugz <3
  • FinchFinch MelbourneMember Posts: 301
    @FionaJ thinking of you today. Hugs and best wishes for a quick recovery. Xxxxx
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