Confused, no reaction
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TassieGrandma
Member Posts: 11 ✭
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed with DCIS about a week ago, and I am not really feeling anything at all. No tears, no fear, nothing. What is wrong with me? I have three adult sons, each took the news in a fairly lowkey way, no panic. I retired a year ago, looking forward to doing all sorts of things in our own time. In that year, I have had a knee replacement, cataract removal, and a breast cancer diagnosis.
Middle of winter so keeping inside, appointment with the surgeon this Friday, which will give me a date for surgery. I am hoping once my treatment plan is set out, some lovely people on here will be able to advise me. I keep to myself and am a bit of a loner, so don't really have anyone close enough to talk with. Thanks for being here, ladies.
Middle of winter so keeping inside, appointment with the surgeon this Friday, which will give me a date for surgery. I am hoping once my treatment plan is set out, some lovely people on here will be able to advise me. I keep to myself and am a bit of a loner, so don't really have anyone close enough to talk with. Thanks for being here, ladies.
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Hi @TassieGrandma - welcome to this forum where you’re absolutely right, you’ll find tons of advice, support and someone to ‘talk’ to basically any time of the day or night!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your response to your diagnosis. Everyone reacts differently and this is simply your way of coping. It’s actually a blessing in a way, as you’re evidently pragmatic and will simply deal with whatever you need to do, one step at a time.
I was very much like you. I was diagnosed in January with bilateral invasive lobular carcinoma and knew from the beginning that it would be a double mastectomy for me. No tears, no drama in that department.
In fact my biggest concern was that I was in the middle of a very busy term at the school where I work and I was hoping my surgeon would agree to delay my surgery until the school holidays. He agreed and I relaxed. My 3 adult kids were fine because I was, as was my husband. I chose to tell my 12 year old closer to the op time and he was also cool - again, because I was.
The only time I was very anxious was waiting for staging scan results. But no tears. Once they were over I could relax and get on with life until my op.
My surgery was in April and since then I’ve started chemo and have radiation and hormone therapy to look forward to. But I still have not shed one tear about my diagnosis or treatment.
The one time I had an absolute academy award-winning meltdown was when I landed up in hospital with a low white blood cell count during chemo and after 3 days, with absolutely no sign of illness they were not letting me go home! The flood gates opened - it was all to do with no-one listening to me or advocating for me (and it had the desired effect - I was allowed home) but who knows? Maybe it was also a bit of pent-up emotion about my whole story.
Taking one step at a time is the best thing we can all do, and if you can do that with a pragmatic, positive attitude then that’s awesome!
Having said that though, don’t be surprised if it does hit you for six when you least expect it - that’s absolutely, 100% normal too.
Go with the flow and jump on here anytime to question, download or just be amongst people who know exactly what you’re going through. Good luck with your appointment on Friday and please let us know how you’re progressing!
Lots of hugs xxxxx2 -
Hi @TassieGrandma you will find a wealth of support and knowledge on here!
im in Hobart too and am a Radiation Therapist at the Royal currently having radiation if you ever need anyone close by to chat to feel free to reach out
all the best for your appmt on Friday xx1 -
We're all different Tassie Grandma. There's no right or wrong. I have a difficult family history and bypassed shock and denial and went straight to white hot anger. That was with me for a few weeks and then I progressed to deep sadness with an ocean of tears. Seven months later I'm mostly dry now but still very sad.
You sound like you're a calm, pragmatic family. And it sounds as if your prognosis is good. Don't worry about not worrying! Your brain will do its thing to process the info in its own time.
This forum's been a lifesaver for me. Jump in anytime you have a question or need a whinge or rant. There's always someone about. Not a good club to join but welcome! K xox0 -
I was diagnosed with DCIS in May last year and at the time and all through (treatment still ongoing) had very little emotion about it. I down played it to my three adult kids, none of them live in the same town as me. However in the last few weeks I seem to have hit a wall, I had Hercepton last week No.13 with five to go. I am usually able to cope but have found that at the moment I can't. Thought I'd reach out for help and on my really down day tried to call the Cancer help line after trying to get through twice I gave up this made me feel a bit helpless. I did get on to the bcna nurse the following day who encouraged me to try again which I did and now have a phone appointment set up for next week, two weeks after my initial call. The nurse who I spoke with was going on leave but told me that she would get someone to call in the next few days, but haven't heard from them. I am not great at sharing my feelings, but just being on this site has helped.1
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Hi @TassieGrandma I had very little reaction to my diagnosis as well. A bit of a panic attack and a few quiet tears one night, but for the most part I was okay. In fact, I think my gp was more upset about telling me that I had cancer than I was about finding out!0
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I also was very calm about everything. Even 6 years after diagnosis, I have not cried. But sad movies or books make me cry! Just shows how different we all are.0
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@pammiesyd, @Mira , @kmcin, @kmakm, @JoeyLiz, @Eastmum and@Summerhill39, thank you all for your responses. I don't do waiting very well, so am doing as much as I can to distract myself. I am not sleeping, like a lot of other people here, and have resorted to taking a Restavit or two now and then, but they leave me groggy. I will continue to check in regularly, and once again, many thanks ladies.1
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Dear @TassieGrandma sending you a private message1
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@TassieGrandma - I was quite numb through my whole experience - I think its partly shock and just wanting to get it all taken care of xo1
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@TassieGrandma - if your doctors allow it, I can highly recommend just every now and then (I use it very seldom), a xanax (alprazolam) to help you sleep and help with stress and anxiety - it's classed as a minor tranquilizer but it's quite potent and I have found that it doesn't make me groggy.
All the best xxx1 -
Hi @TassieGrandma
Sorry to see you join us here at BCNA .... but most will agree that joining BCNA is the best thing we’ve done!! Have you seen the ‘care kit’ that BCNA will send you .. with a diary and all sorts of terrific info that will help you along the way. It is invaluable.
https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/my-journey-kit/
There is HEAPS of top info here, and lots of sympathetic ears to help you with all your questions and also help you thru the next few months.
yep, there is no ‘guide’ for how to react to the diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2010 ... so I was ‘sort of’ used to what was going to happen .... so a bit more prepared, I guess.
My main suggestion would be to have a family member or good friend attend any meetings that you attend (surgical and beyond), as a 2nd set of ears and also emotional and physical support for you. You sound like you are ‘on top’ of things right now ... but as others have said, sometimes, the smallest thing can turn everything upside down .... hopefully it won’t ... but maybe just be prepared for it.
Sleep (or lack of) really seems to be a major factor ... I take the occasional Temase, but I mainly just try to remain as active as I can, to make me tired enough to sleep well.
Keep doing what you love doing. Tell those close to you about your diagnosis, as they will support you most. You Don’t have to tell those who don’t matter. My uke group buddies were part of my saving grace ..... keeping up with it kept my mind off things!
If if there is anything that we can help you with, just ask. Someone will have an answer!
Take care, and we are thinking of you.
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hi Tassiegrandma
Below are a couple of links to help you find your
way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order
a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet.It can be a whirlwind when we first get a
diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time.Navigating the online community
formerly the what and how thread.Breast Care Nurses
https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx
My Journey Kits and other
resources.https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/
BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258
If you have any questions, concerns or require any further
information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from
9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays.1 -
Emotions are all part of this rollercoaster and it's hard to predict how things will strike you. I've had tears over stupid things and not over the obvious. I've been confident and then had the blues so badly. As others have said, sleep is one of the hardest things for whatever reason (hot flushes, anxiety, ...) so take something occasionally if you need to catch up. There's a long-running post about it that many of us jump on in the wee hours.1
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Hi all, I saw my surgeon today and she informed me that I had an unusual cancer, I think she said papillary, however it looks to be contained. Surgery was to be in about 4 weeks but is now on this coming Thursday (5th). I am glad that it is happening soon, but not sure how I feel after reading a little about papillary cancer.1
