Calling parents

AllyJay

@kmakm..hi  there...perhaps try  a rotating roster.  I found  when my kids were younger, there was always  the one  that  thought taking  out the rubbish versus changing  the cat  litter  was a  cop out or  vice versa. I made up a chart  of  tasks  for kid  A and kid B, and they swapped round every week which put  an end  to that particular  whinge  fest.

kmakm

@AllyJay Oh it's definitely going to be a rotating roster! I'm a great believer in fairness and there won't be any gender divide either. The only division will be strength based and that's minimal. With four kids it won't be too arduous on anybody.

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Zoffiel

Yep @joannie living on your own helps. There is less mess, usually, and you aren't a slave to anyone elses need for order or routine.

BC version 1, my son was 13. I'd been a sole parent for years. I was often told I was too hard on him when he was a small child, usually by the competitive martyrs who would go to extraordinary lengths to prove that they were the '''best' parents. As it turned out, he was more than capable of cooking himself a meal and could be trusted to navigate the 700km journey  between home and my mother's via train and bus when I knew I wouldn't be able to look after him while I was having surgery in Melbourne. 

 I was well enough most of the time to work, but during a couple of crappy weeks a very kind lady I didn't know well offered to launder his school uniforms. Housework, meh, it's a small house. Boys of those age smell so appalling (despite an hour a day in the shower) that there is little point in worrying about any more than the basics, if he wanted to live in squallour in his room/cave, so be it.

Water finds its own level. What happens if you stop driving the requirement for a 'proper' domestic environment? There is only one way to find out. It's an interesting experiment and what harm can come from three months of accumulated dust?

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MaryB83

My kids are 8, 6 and 3 and they are expected to keep doing their age appropriate chores (put clothes in laundry, rinse plates, set table, tidy room, feed the dogs etc). I don't want them to have to grow up too quickly because of my diagnosis but my oldest is being more helpful anyway, offering to do things for me or to help me out.

kmakm

Well blow me down... Girl15 just took the rubbish out without being asked! She saw the bin was full and out it went. *pats self on back for parenting* #rarewin!

Romla

One does see glimmers of hope here on occasions too - am holding out for the promise of maturity that others have  assured 

kmakm

@Romla There's more than one tunnel into which we're looking for a light at the end!