Losing friends because of Cancer

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  • Maggienbub
    Maggienbub Member Posts: 6 ✭
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    Couldn't agree more Jane84 and the many others that replied. I lost my Mum to lung cancer & still mourning. My only sibling chose my diagnosis to abandon me including my much loved niece & nephew. A lot of close friends chose the same path.The references to support for family & friends in literature hurts. Let alone the next of kin line on forms. Anyways, I suppose for me the worst bit is that my life before both my cancers has gone & the loss of these familiar people just adds to the loss and the massive changes we go thru. I'm of the treat other's like we want to be treated ourselves. I must be old fashioned.

    Yes, I've met some lovely new friends and friendships in the making which I treasure. But I miss the old me and I miss the familiarity of my old friends. And of course I miss my greatest strength, my Mum.

  • jane84
    jane84 Member Posts: 63 ✭
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    @Maggienbub Sorry to hear of your mum! And Yes losing the life before is one of the hardest aspects of all of this.  I hope you have found solice in the new friendships you have formed! Xx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552 ✭
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    @Maggienbub

    Perhaps look at it as those old friends and your sibling as being in recess.  

    Some don't know how to deal and others may have shown that they are not cut for someone else's trauma and have moved on.  Some friends are seasonal and some are lifers.  

    At the weekend just gone I had a catch up with two girls I went to Tech School with, one neither of us had seen for 44 years but what was obvious we all had a deep connection and it was like we picked up from where we left off from, that last day at school and 5 hours later we decided we'd better come up for air and we will do it again and the group will be a little bigger next time as we look up friends from long ago!

    It's important at this time that you surround yourself with positive people and yes the one person I wish I could share this wretched journey with is my Mum, she died in 2008.

    Take care 


  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    @Maggienbub I don't think you ever get over losing your Mum.  Mine died in 2000 and I still find myself wanting to ring her to tell her things.  But while she was the strongest woman I've ever known, part of me is thankful that I never had to tell her about my diagnosis because she would have been devastated. (while she would have been cooking meals and cleaning my house).
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    My heart goes out to you @Maggienbub. It's such a difficult time without friends and family adding to your woes. My friends have been beyond amazing but my mother has been difficult and my remaining sibling has chosen this week to attack and hurt me over something untrue and unimportant at this time. It's devastating. I'm sending you a huge enveloping bear hug. Hang in there. K xox

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