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Sam09's avatar
Sam09
Member
8 years ago

Wow today I feel so terribly sad and sorry for myself shame on me.

Today I feel so sad and alone . My daughter tells me lately I've been to hard to live with and this morning my husband said he needed a few days away so both of them left . Before he left he told me if I was dying I would be nicer sometimes which cut my heart out. I don't think I'm dying but they obviously do.... so sitting with tears flowing with my beautiful dogue de Bordeaux alias my best friend who totally gets my pain I did some soul searching all alone and feeling totally sorry for myself  yes night after night I get hardly sleep and I'm moody some times . 18 months into my diagnosis and 12 month metastic I simply cannot live comfortably with this well I can't .
Be it they all tell me to be grateful and put a smile on my face for my treatment appears to be doing it' job. 
But I can tell I'm now a burden everyone's just simply over it and the calls and well wishes I miss..... that stopped too  and 
Really I know i get it and im over it as well   now......I so am