Sam09
8 years agoMember
Am I dying and no one has told me?
Hi lovely ladies,
I can almost feel it "AH a post from the interesting Sam 09" but yet again I need some advice please? I have spent a sleepless night last night with so many pains I would not know where to start! 2 weeks out from the news my liver mets had shrunk away then the news sorry we found mets in your spine in numerous places, my feeling wonderful suddenly started to diminish. From the moment I lay on the MRI table and had a backache to now I have felt lousy. I always feel so good and do not DO SICK AT ALL and never have however..... if I am not awake all night with the horrible buring perjeta itch attacking me then its the
pain throbbing in my spine feeling dizzy sometimes and I hope to God it is the stress and I have constant tightness and pain in my stomach yet the MRI revealed nothing else in my abdomen. Oh now its nausea too a few times a day and 2 days ago I was sitting on my steps on the phone and I stood up and my left knee went strange and I could not walk on it and still now am having trouble. I thought perhaps I had jarred it doing a weights session without knowing however this morning upon rising the right knee felt strange almost asleep and felt swollen a little. PANIC!!!!! I am to say understating I am scared stiff. How could I feel so good and then find out some news and suddenly in pain and feel so horrible. I have been told well its good your liver mets have shrunk and do not worry people live for years and years with bone mets.But now I feel horrible....
But is it anywhere else ,is this not the question we all wonder,as from what I see we go along to our oncs and they say how do you feel you say good then its treatment off home until the day you say I have a problem!!!!! I have this horrible feeling because I am so intune with my body this is it!!!! and perhaps I am on my way out. I feel so angry..... is this what I got for looking after myself so much caring about nuturing my body in and out. Hail to fat people for what I can see I should have had that cheesecake I would have liked to have or eaten out occasionally or lay on the beach instead of running and gyming it perhaps perhaps.
Or the question is ladies.... am I dying or am I living this disease and my good feeling of health is gone?
Either way I cannot go on like this.... I do not want to do sick and never have... this is not fun life if I cannot run jump be active and exercise thenI am not me..... ah the tears are falling. How I wish!!!!!!!!!!! Yes feel free to dong me on the head I am sure you all want too! I totally get it because I do too!!!!!!
I can almost feel it "AH a post from the interesting Sam 09" but yet again I need some advice please? I have spent a sleepless night last night with so many pains I would not know where to start! 2 weeks out from the news my liver mets had shrunk away then the news sorry we found mets in your spine in numerous places, my feeling wonderful suddenly started to diminish. From the moment I lay on the MRI table and had a backache to now I have felt lousy. I always feel so good and do not DO SICK AT ALL and never have however..... if I am not awake all night with the horrible buring perjeta itch attacking me then its the
pain throbbing in my spine feeling dizzy sometimes and I hope to God it is the stress and I have constant tightness and pain in my stomach yet the MRI revealed nothing else in my abdomen. Oh now its nausea too a few times a day and 2 days ago I was sitting on my steps on the phone and I stood up and my left knee went strange and I could not walk on it and still now am having trouble. I thought perhaps I had jarred it doing a weights session without knowing however this morning upon rising the right knee felt strange almost asleep and felt swollen a little. PANIC!!!!! I am to say understating I am scared stiff. How could I feel so good and then find out some news and suddenly in pain and feel so horrible. I have been told well its good your liver mets have shrunk and do not worry people live for years and years with bone mets.But now I feel horrible....
But is it anywhere else ,is this not the question we all wonder,as from what I see we go along to our oncs and they say how do you feel you say good then its treatment off home until the day you say I have a problem!!!!! I have this horrible feeling because I am so intune with my body this is it!!!! and perhaps I am on my way out. I feel so angry..... is this what I got for looking after myself so much caring about nuturing my body in and out. Hail to fat people for what I can see I should have had that cheesecake I would have liked to have or eaten out occasionally or lay on the beach instead of running and gyming it perhaps perhaps.
Or the question is ladies.... am I dying or am I living this disease and my good feeling of health is gone?
Either way I cannot go on like this.... I do not want to do sick and never have... this is not fun life if I cannot run jump be active and exercise thenI am not me..... ah the tears are falling. How I wish!!!!!!!!!!! Yes feel free to dong me on the head I am sure you all want too! I totally get it because I do too!!!!!!