Am I dying and no one has told me?
Hi lovely ladies, I can almost feel it "AH a post from the interesting Sam 09" but yet again I need some advice please? I have spent a sleepless night last night with so many pains I would not know w...
Forum Discussion
Take a breath, Sam.
Everything you are feeling is valid, but the shit thing is you can do nothing about any of it. Cancer is deadly and confusing and unfair. It is likely to kill many of us. Is yours likely to bump you off in the next few weeks? Who knows, but you can be pretty sure if there were indications you were palliative, someone would have told you.
Now, as you may have gathered, I don't 'do' squishy hand holding stuff, but I'm pretty good at practical. The practical part thinks your team, while they do not have clairvoyant skills, will be giving you as much info as they reasonably can. You know you have mets, which sucks. You also know that you are getting monitored much more closely than those with no evidence of disease, so if anything changes you are likely to find out pretty quickly. Cold comfort, sorry, but you are in better control of the 'known unknowns' than some.
As for cheesecake. Eat it. Have two pieces. If everything is turning to shit it won't matter,. And even if you have just hit a few bumps in the road it still won't matter.
Grieving for who we were before we got thrown in the blender is something we all do in our own way. I find the process distressing on a personal level but fascinating on a forensic level--which helps me cope.
Everything you are feeling is valid, but the shit thing is you can do nothing about any of it. Cancer is deadly and confusing and unfair. It is likely to kill many of us. Is yours likely to bump you off in the next few weeks? Who knows, but you can be pretty sure if there were indications you were palliative, someone would have told you.
Now, as you may have gathered, I don't 'do' squishy hand holding stuff, but I'm pretty good at practical. The practical part thinks your team, while they do not have clairvoyant skills, will be giving you as much info as they reasonably can. You know you have mets, which sucks. You also know that you are getting monitored much more closely than those with no evidence of disease, so if anything changes you are likely to find out pretty quickly. Cold comfort, sorry, but you are in better control of the 'known unknowns' than some.
As for cheesecake. Eat it. Have two pieces. If everything is turning to shit it won't matter,. And even if you have just hit a few bumps in the road it still won't matter.
Grieving for who we were before we got thrown in the blender is something we all do in our own way. I find the process distressing on a personal level but fascinating on a forensic level--which helps me cope.