Don't know where to begin

melclarity

Hey @Bellablor I hear you loud and clear, I think we can all identify with how you feel right now and have been there. It is hard to watch life go by when you are at home, I know in many ways I felt quite forgotten. I found the hardest time was 4.5 months of Chemo...I really felt that way, useless, hopeless and no quality of life as I once knew it. You do get sick of talking about it, but I think moreso to well meaning friends and family who try so hard but can't possibly understand the depth of what you are feeling. Its the most isolating time in your life. I think getting the Results will be good, because then you will know exactly what it is and what the plan will be. you will have direction and its the knowing that helps alot. Honestly Ive been through this twice, the 2nd time was harder, but you are so validated with how you feel. I wanted to say too...it's actually not about everyone else...its about YOU! we spend our lives making sure everyone else is OK...strangely a big lesson for me through this was to stop doing that. I finally became important...I remember people saying to me I have to do Chemo for my children as Im a single parent. You know what I realised and I said??? If I can't do all of this for me...I cannot do it for them or anyone else. It starts with ME, and this really was the turning point for me, in forging forward one day at a time and one thing at a time. I know how impossible it all seems right now...Ive been there...but I promise you, you will find the strength and we will all be here to help. Big hugs Melinda xo

Share

Hi there @Bellablor & welcome to the online forum. Just like me I had never been on an online forum before and was not certain how to post etc etc. I have been on the forum for just under 6 months and have received great support, inspiration and terrific advice about several things (medical and non-medical). I have commented quite a few times that this is a great place with like minded, supportive ladies who simply "get you".  

Simply by posting, chatting, sharing a random thought or fear is not simply vetting. It is being able to offload to those who understand - yes as wonderful as our family and friends are. 

Yes, it does seem as though the outside world is going on around you and sometimes you feel like you are having an out of body experience and are not a participant. 

You mention being stuck at home (no work or gym) and I think that perhaps apart from your bc diagnosis you are otherwise "healthy" ? That in itself is frustrating. Maybe you have some favourite movies or TV series on DVD (or able to binge watch something whilst you have some alone time). Look on it as "me time" and perhaps your friends may have something in mind (or can lend you). 

Welcome again to you Paula and @Just Fer  

Best wishes Sheryl 

Brenda5

You know all those movie series you never get time to watch? Get into em!

SoldierCrab

Hi @Bellablor  IT is OKAY to be having a bad morning.... I have a suggestion while I was going thru diagnosis and treatment we had a group SMS/facebook messenger Private message, that I would just do one update and everyone that needed it got it. it removed some of the stress of repeating the same thing over and over. .... 

It is normal to want your results but not want them either it is our need to deny that this roller coaster ride has put us on the ride without our permission. 

hugs 
Alice xoxo 

primek

I got netflex connected and also just went out for coffee with my wound drains in a bag. So good to get out the house for bit. Or to the movies even. Couple hours with an occupied mind helps. X

[Deleted User]

Hi Bellablor, waiting for results sucks.......! So many things run through your mind and you feel like a spectator in your own future. Once you receive your results, ask lots of questions and take a support person with you to your appointments. Write things down too, this way you can make an informed decision about your options. Read up on the sites that PrimeK has given you too. Sending you a big cuddle, Trace xxxx