My Journey Kit arrived today
My Journey Kit arrived today. It's interesting having a read of some of the smaller pamphlets.
It's hard thinking about how my partner is feeling and hope that he will have support from friends as well.
It's hard not knowing when the phone call from the hospital will come to give me a surgery date.
It's hard not knowing how quickly my BC is growing and whether it is spread and how far
It's hard not knowing how I'm gong to react to my chemo....
ITS JUST HARD!
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Hardest thing you will ever go through, once you have that plan at least you will feel a little in control. For me it's 4 years down the track, yes it's doable but god it's hard and I'm sure everyone will agree.i found being honest and telling friends when l couldn't be bothered was the best thing. My husband found the cd useful and he had it in the car, I only know cause I got in one day and it was on. I joined a group and then took it over and those woman were my saviour and still my friends they understood and were great to have a winge to. All the best regards adean
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Hi Adrienne,
It is hard!! It's frustrating. It's enough to make you feel like you are going to blow a gasket. And I think that there is not one of us who has not felt the shift when you enter the Breast Cancer Zone!! (cue the twilight zone music) Real time seems to exist on a different plane. Everything related to breast cancer time takes what feels like years to arrive - but when it does arrive your not ready for it!!! You're hanging out for your surgery date and then when it arrives although you know it is for the best you will not truly be ready. You will never be ready because this whole disease is not something we put our hands up for and volunteer to take part in. I had six weeks before I had a surgery date and I read and questioned everything I could to get as much information as I possibly could. In one way it is comforting having that amount of time to be able to gather that information, the other way is full of frustration, anxiety, stress, time feeling like it is going in reverse. You'll probably swing between the two. If possible when it starts to get too much try and do something that you find enjoyable. Wishing you all the best, and a quick surgery date. Xx Cath
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The 'before surgery' time is the absolute hardest as tou have the least information and the most uncertainty. I was diagnosed in late Feb and had ti wait 6 weeks for surgery and remember frustration and fear that BC is growing but few weeks here and there will not make a difference. It will be OK as it does not grow that quickly and will not spread for the few weeks you are waiting.
Good thing is they have identified it and you can not get rid of the bastard... Post surgery it gets a bit easier as the biopsy will give clear results and a definite course of treatment so just try to take this time to rest up physically.
Main thing is that it is identified and is being taken out and you will be OK.
Your partner can get a lot of help understanding what is going on and dealing with it. If you or him contact the Cancer Centre at the local hospital he can be out in touch with councilors (mostly free of charge) and even groups that can help him deal with this.
Frankly I very strongly suggest this as depending on the diagnosis / biopsy resulslts and prescribed treatment they can find it hard to deal with what isngoonf on and it is good to have them have another outlet and source of information as tou have your own wellbeing and emotional turmoil to deal with.
Again, I honestly think thisnis the hardest time for you. It is so normal to be scared confused frustrated angry... I remember mood changes 10 times per minute at times ..
I am sorry for the reason that had you join this forum but amngkad that you are on it while dealing with BC as this is one place where we do get it. We have either all done it, or are going through it so whatever happens and however you feel do know this is one safe place where we will understand what tou are going through and how you are feeling - no judgement.
We have all had out good time and bad times and vrys and rants and outright meltdowns and understand it is normal to have them and deal with them.
With all the unknowns and all the stress and chanhes it is easy to get overwhelmed. One thing I fojnd helpfull when I came across this site (and this has been a lifesaver for me so many times) was to both read various posts and ask questions when unsure. There is a lot in the published literature but it is what the women have shared of themselves and their personal experiences here is what has helped me prepare the most.
Use this time to rest up and like Cath said, use this time to read and understand what your options are so that when the time comes to make those pivotal treatmwnt decisions you can be reassured what to do and where to from here... And in the meanwhile just know that we are here if and when you need us and remember that the main ting is bastard BC has been identified, it is getting cut out soon, you will get required treatment for it and you WILL BE OK. This stress and fear and anxiety are horrible but YOU WILL KICK THIS AND YOU WILL BE OK.
Hugs
Jel
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Thank you for your thoughts.
I must find time to listen to the CD
thanks again
Adrienne
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wow- 6 weeks. I hope I dont have to wait that long!
My surgeon did indicate on my hospital form that he wanted ASAP or 30 days. Lets hope I do get it soon as Im not overly patient
regards Adrienne
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Thanks for your comment Jel.
Im do have so many things to be grateful for ... I shouldnt be so negative I guess.
Yes I am lucky that we caught it early and I am healthy (but not fit) so Im sure that I will be ok.
kind regards, Adrienne
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Oh Adrienne,
You are not being negative... it is normal to feel that way. It is such a difficult turbulent and emotional thing dealing with BC diagnosis - if you were not feeling the way you feel I would think there was something wrong with you...
All I was trying to say is that it is normal to be feeling the way you feel. We all did and still do. It is a bastard of a journey (and man do i hate the overuse of that word 'journey'....) but it is one flipping journey we can handle (not easy but can be handled) and just wanted to say that you need to take care of you and put yourself first so that you get through this the best way possible... and nt to forget that this little community is here any time you need it
Hugs
Jel.0 -
Thanks Jel
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