Newbie finding her feet

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donnafischer
donnafischer Dragonfly Posts: 144
edited January 2016 in General discussion

Hi guys, I'm really trying to navigate my way round here. Anyhow, I'm new (lol) I was diagnosed on Friday 8th with breast cancer (biopsy was not definitive as to type etc) just used the words invasive carcinoma. So Feb 4th I am having a wide excision ? and the sentinel nodes removed and then radiation after that unless the pathology requires I go down the chemo path.  I lost my you know what for a few days, but after a rush of appointments, its really weird. Life is as normal. I dont know what I'm supposed to feel because I feel very normal. There's nothing to do, or worry about because we know its cancer. I find this to be a very bizarre stage. I did have an appointment with a social worker/counsellor and found that useful because i was stressing about not stressing. 

So I just go to work (I actually work for my gp) and do my usual stuff. Occasionally something pops up and a worry for a bit, but then that passes. I dont really know what questions to ask as everything is hinging on the pathology result.

Has anyone else felt like this?  :)

Donna.

 

 

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Comments

  • Tracey62
    Tracey62 Member Posts: 298 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna,

    so sorry you need to be on this site but glad that you found it. Really helps to chat with other ladies about what you are going through. Weird feeling so healthy and normal but knowing you have bc. Feelings change each step along your treatment and this is a safe place to share how you feel. 

    Just to let you know, when you post in the SE QLD support group, it won't show up on the main blog page ( this site can be difficult to navigate).  Usually that means only others in that group can read your post. Try the "post" tab on the main blog page and you might get more responses.

    have you ordered a copy of the My Journey kit on the opening page of BCNA? It is packed with info, might help you sort out what questions you need answered. I wish you all the best for the weeks and months to come. Know that we are here for you, Tracey??

  • Tracey62
    Tracey62 Member Posts: 298 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Oops, take back my advice on posting in groups, looks like they've fixed that problem ??

  • K.J.
    K.J. Member Posts: 42
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna, 

    Im really sorry you got to join our club but let me extend you the warmest welcome. Here you will find a safe place to talk about stuff you don't feel OK to say to anyone else. There is always someone with a warm heart and kind word. And it's OK to say "shit"....

    My diagnosis was in November and I felt quite similar to you. It was all very surreal and I felt quite numb. Even now after two rounds of surgery, my first round of chemo and having to shave my head yesterday, it still - mostly - feels like I'm reading about it. I have had more than my fair share of moments when I've cried and spoked and sulked. But mostly it still feels distant. I had very few questions to ask and the first two months I felt like I was in a riptide. No way out, no control and no sense of time. This may or may not change for you. But whatever way it is, it's ok and normal. If only there was a handbook (Christ knows you get hundreds of them) to tell us the right way to feel but we each have to figure that out on our own terms.

    My only advice to you is this: be kind to yourself. This doesn't seem like much now but in the coming months this will be most important. Be kind, be gentle, be fair. If you are tired, rest. If you want a second piece of cake, eat it! Now is not the time for self deprivation. I only learnt this past week that the universe will continue to operate if I check out for a couple of hours.

    This network has been my saviour so never be frightened to ask questions - there are far too many of us here and I guarantee that someone will be able to answer just about anything.

    Take care and good luck xo

  • snow
    snow Member Posts: 28
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna, i was like you in October diagnosed with DCIS and 2 invasive. Was a shock but i had a lot of support from husband, family and the medical team. the lumpectomy went well and all clear so now waiting on treatment to start on 24 feb radiotherapy. I did feel anxious and started thinking of certain things and sometimes thought the worst but then i told myself if it was bad i would be in hospital straight away plus the doctors and nurses were all positive saying it is the very early stages and has a high success rate. Also i had a friend i could talk to outside the family about things as i didnt really want to talk to family incase i stressed them out even more lol. I kept on working and i intend to during my treatment as i feel it will keep me sain and my mind off things. Like Tracey says the My Journey Kit is very good. i ordered it and found it very helpful and answers to a lot of my questions. I use the diary all the time to write things down in. This website is very helpful as well. the support on here is amazing and helps a lot. i wish you best of luck with your operation of 4 feb. take care and keep smiling. :)

  • Kim R
    Kim R Member Posts: 146 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna,

    you sound normal to me. It is odd to still think of yourself as a healthy person than this happens and you have to put your body though hell to be healthy again!! I hope you have a good medical team that you trust as you put your life in their hands and you see a damn lot of them. I found my brain shut down (still not working properly!) as a coping mechanism to handle the increased anxiety. A good night sleep always helps even if it has to be drug induced. 

    Wishing you well

    Kim

  • Ann-Marie
    Ann-Marie Member Posts: 1,142 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna,

    Welcome to the Online Network. My name is Ann-Marie and I am the Online Community Coordinator at BCNA.

    When posting there are a few options. If you have joined a group it will appear under the "Post" button.

    1) My Blog - When you click on "My Blog" you are posting into the main feed that everyone will be able to see and comment to.

     

    2) Groups - If you have joined any groups, you can click on that group and you will be posting directly into that group. Depending on whether that group is private or not, will depend on whether your post will appear in the main feed. In this case "South East QLD" group is not private, and your post has appeared in the main feed.

    I hope this helps.

    ~Ann-Marie

     

  • Tracey62
    Tracey62 Member Posts: 298 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Thanx Ann-Marie,  I was a bit confused about how sometimes it showed & others it didn't. Hope you have a nice weekend ??

  • Ann-Marie
    Ann-Marie Member Posts: 1,142 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    My pleasure :)

    Thank you Tracey, you too.

  • Brenda5
    Brenda5 Member Posts: 2,423 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Welcome Donna. Such a positive attitude should help you a lot.

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited January 2016
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    Hi there , This is my fourth year since diagnosis of invasive lobular carcinoma, I came out the other end and lived yeh! Ive made friends in my support group that can only understand what its all about and they will be lifelong friends, others just don't get it, the only advice I can give you is its not always great to be superwoman , I found I rushed back to work as I thought this would bring back normality but now in hind sight I should have taken more time of I did feel exhausted and tired but its a weird feeling and I was determined not to let it get to me. Now I have a rare blood cancer and have just left full time work I thought stuff this I need to focus on me, and loving staying home. I wish you all the best. adean

  • donnafischer
    donnafischer Dragonfly Posts: 144
    edited January 2016
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    Thank's Tracey, I'm a bit of a googler (sticking to australian breast cancer sites) and I've been a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness for the past 4 years (oh the irony lol) so it was the first thing I ordered.

    This site is a bit of a headache to navigate but I'm getting there 

    Thanks for the kind words :)

  • donnafischer
    donnafischer Dragonfly Posts: 144
    edited January 2016
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    KJ I laughed out loud at the handbook comment!!! It was like by the end of the first week, every day there was something else in the mail box LOL... and I may have said something a little stronger that SHIT.. ;)  I had a wonderful session with my social worker/counsellor and we both used a bad word.... A LOT lol. 

    Thanks,
    Donna.

  • Ruth Bird
    Ruth Bird Member Posts: 79
    edited January 2016
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    Hi Donna

    What everyone else wrote is so true. This forum is a wonderful way to confidentially speak with others who really understand. And expletives are fine, although yet to see the f and c bombs.

    I still don't feel like this is entirely real, and had both boobs off 3 weeks ago. The big thing was buying tamoxifen his week. Was procrastinating and dithering in the soap section of the pharmacy, and it's still sitting in the cupboard. Have promised myself will start it tomorrow. 

    Wishing you all the very best ??

     

  • donnafischer
    donnafischer Dragonfly Posts: 144
    edited January 2016
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    Thanks Snow. So no chemo for you?? Thats great, and the outcome I'm hoping for because I dont want to put the financial strain on our family by not working. (Kids are grown up so just hubby and I but its still a strain these days)  I have found the best way to deal with my feelings is very similar to you. Hubby first (but theres some stuff he doesnt want to talk about - so I have my pink sisters - my four best friends who keep me going. I also decided to do something that isnt for everyone. As much as people bag facebook, I have found it to be a brilliant tool in the right circumstances. My friends have seen me bang on about breast awareness through various fundraisers for years, so I am diarising my journey through a public album on my facebook page. I feel it allows me to put words to my feelings, but may help someone. There has to be some good to come out of this right?  All the best for your radiation treatment.


    Donna.

  • donnafischer
    donnafischer Dragonfly Posts: 144
    edited January 2016
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    Thanks Kim,

    my boss is my gp and he is awesome :) So i have insider info when I need it. The down side is if i need chemo I wont be able to work as working behind the reception desk in a waiting room of sick people may not be the best thing for me in that instance. So fingers crossed for just the chemo

    :)

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