Best Of
Re: Struggling to cope
Hi @Klp
I won't say anything stupid like "don't be afraid". Its a scary place.
But I will say Don't give up.
You can get through this, and you have a very good chance of getting through this.
Be brave, gather your support network and ask them for help. Ask for more than you think you will need, and allow them to do it.
I won't say anything stupid like "don't be afraid". Its a scary place.
But I will say Don't give up.
You can get through this, and you have a very good chance of getting through this.
Be brave, gather your support network and ask them for help. Ask for more than you think you will need, and allow them to do it.
Re: Struggling to cope
@Klp Hang in there my lovely. We are all here for you & what you're feeling is completely normal and yes, you CAN beat this. Im so glad you have found us here as all your questions, fears & feelings have all been experienced by any number of us. We will be able to give you personal advice of what we have all been through & no question is a dumb question! Cancer is like another language. So much to learn, acronmyns, words & terms you have never heard of before!!
You do have so much to deal with already having a newborn & a 6 y.o. but use them to give you the strength to fight & think positive. Try to get as much help from family & friends in regard to meals, housework & dont be too proud as everyone wants to help.
I found a McGrath nurse via the website & she has been great to answer all my dumb questions. They can counsel you & your family also & help you emotionally & medically. I speak to mine over the phone as she lives an hour or so away from me.
Get info/brochures from good sources like BCNA, Cancer council & medical waiting rooms. Try not to Dr Google as that can be confusing. Take someone with you to all appointments as a second set of ears or record the appointment & take lots of notes.
FACT: Stress fuels cancer so try not to let it take hold of you as it wont help you mentally or physically...easier said than done. Things will constantly change so try to focus on what you DO know & not what MAY happen as the worse may never come. Again, easier said than done. I worried over every possible outcome, mastectomy v lumpectomy, chemo, rad......but I only ended up having a lumpectomy & a very easy 3 weeks of rad. I also was gene tested & that was negative. Its good that they are testing you as that is information you will need for your children. Its also good to have that test early on as the outcome could effect your treatment going forward.
Your medical team will guide you. Try to focus on the next step & keep ticking off each box. We will be here to help you. Wishing you love, prayers, strength & lots of hugs. xxxx
You do have so much to deal with already having a newborn & a 6 y.o. but use them to give you the strength to fight & think positive. Try to get as much help from family & friends in regard to meals, housework & dont be too proud as everyone wants to help.
I found a McGrath nurse via the website & she has been great to answer all my dumb questions. They can counsel you & your family also & help you emotionally & medically. I speak to mine over the phone as she lives an hour or so away from me.
Get info/brochures from good sources like BCNA, Cancer council & medical waiting rooms. Try not to Dr Google as that can be confusing. Take someone with you to all appointments as a second set of ears or record the appointment & take lots of notes.
FACT: Stress fuels cancer so try not to let it take hold of you as it wont help you mentally or physically...easier said than done. Things will constantly change so try to focus on what you DO know & not what MAY happen as the worse may never come. Again, easier said than done. I worried over every possible outcome, mastectomy v lumpectomy, chemo, rad......but I only ended up having a lumpectomy & a very easy 3 weeks of rad. I also was gene tested & that was negative. Its good that they are testing you as that is information you will need for your children. Its also good to have that test early on as the outcome could effect your treatment going forward.
Your medical team will guide you. Try to focus on the next step & keep ticking off each box. We will be here to help you. Wishing you love, prayers, strength & lots of hugs. xxxx

6
Re: Struggling to cope
@Klp
You poor thing, we have all been there, its a very scary place. Hang on and get through this bit and then things will start to feel more normal again. Once you start treatment as everyone has said you feel like you are doing something. Chemo is hard and long but very doable. I am just out the other side and feeling well.
My advice (which I try to take myself!) is to put off the worry, wait till you have all the facts and then look to the positives, these days the prognosis for breast cancers is so much better than in the past and there are more great drugs that help you to tolerate the treatment.
My other advice is when you can, and harder with small kids, get out and exercise, go for a long walk. Its great for taking the edge off that excess adrenalin floating round your system and making you panic. I hope you feel better soon xx
You poor thing, we have all been there, its a very scary place. Hang on and get through this bit and then things will start to feel more normal again. Once you start treatment as everyone has said you feel like you are doing something. Chemo is hard and long but very doable. I am just out the other side and feeling well.
My advice (which I try to take myself!) is to put off the worry, wait till you have all the facts and then look to the positives, these days the prognosis for breast cancers is so much better than in the past and there are more great drugs that help you to tolerate the treatment.
My other advice is when you can, and harder with small kids, get out and exercise, go for a long walk. Its great for taking the edge off that excess adrenalin floating round your system and making you panic. I hope you feel better soon xx

6
Re: Struggling to cope
Dear@klp
That’s a sane and normal reaction. It’s the one most of us have at the beginning - that it’s all about the end! But for many, it’s the start of a road we didn’t plan (or want!) but it’s still a road about living. There will be a time to think about those fears in a less frantic environment, but for the meantime put your energies into fighting cancer, getting through treatment and seeing the future again. The CT scan is good news, the other tests will help clarify things. Many have found that the uncertainty is the hardest problem, so the more you know the better the focus, for treatment and for your mind. Maybe not right now, but at some time, think about some special support, through either other younger women with families and how they have coped, or with a counsellor. You wouldn’t hesitate to talk to a financial adviser if you had some money issues to deal with, fear and uncertainty can be even harder to deal with emotionally and family and friends are in the grip of it too - all focussed on you, but not always helpful in spite of best intentions. One step at a time - you can walk a very long way one step at a time. Best wishes.
That’s a sane and normal reaction. It’s the one most of us have at the beginning - that it’s all about the end! But for many, it’s the start of a road we didn’t plan (or want!) but it’s still a road about living. There will be a time to think about those fears in a less frantic environment, but for the meantime put your energies into fighting cancer, getting through treatment and seeing the future again. The CT scan is good news, the other tests will help clarify things. Many have found that the uncertainty is the hardest problem, so the more you know the better the focus, for treatment and for your mind. Maybe not right now, but at some time, think about some special support, through either other younger women with families and how they have coped, or with a counsellor. You wouldn’t hesitate to talk to a financial adviser if you had some money issues to deal with, fear and uncertainty can be even harder to deal with emotionally and family and friends are in the grip of it too - all focussed on you, but not always helpful in spite of best intentions. One step at a time - you can walk a very long way one step at a time. Best wishes.

8
Re: Struggling to cope
HI @Klp
Such a shame you have to be here lovley but you will find so much support, warmth and information from everybody.
What you're feeling is utterly and completely normal. There is nothing in the world that can prepare you to be told you have cancer. It's a white hot fear of despair and cloudy fog of doom.
My diagnosis was Friday , the M word was on the pathology, I knew it was all through the nodes at the beginning as well. I Dr googled far too much and had my funeral songs planned by Saturday. True story.
For some reason our brains like to conjure up the absolute worst case scenario it can possibly think of.
But guess what? Surgery, chemo, rads and three years later here I am. There are many many of us way down the road we never thought we would have to travel.
Fantastic news that your CT is clear and fingers crossed for you bone scan to be the same. Waiting for those results was the longest 48 hrs of my life. Once you're plan is in place you feel a little more in control. Ask a zillion questions and don't stop until you have all the information you need. It's very easy to get swept along through this thing.
You don't feel like it now but you are stronger than you ever thought possible. One step at at a time sweet. You got this. And we've got you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Such a shame you have to be here lovley but you will find so much support, warmth and information from everybody.
What you're feeling is utterly and completely normal. There is nothing in the world that can prepare you to be told you have cancer. It's a white hot fear of despair and cloudy fog of doom.
My diagnosis was Friday , the M word was on the pathology, I knew it was all through the nodes at the beginning as well. I Dr googled far too much and had my funeral songs planned by Saturday. True story.
For some reason our brains like to conjure up the absolute worst case scenario it can possibly think of.
But guess what? Surgery, chemo, rads and three years later here I am. There are many many of us way down the road we never thought we would have to travel.
Fantastic news that your CT is clear and fingers crossed for you bone scan to be the same. Waiting for those results was the longest 48 hrs of my life. Once you're plan is in place you feel a little more in control. Ask a zillion questions and don't stop until you have all the information you need. It's very easy to get swept along through this thing.
You don't feel like it now but you are stronger than you ever thought possible. One step at at a time sweet. You got this. And we've got you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

8
Re: Our Gardens
Not quite in my garden, but under my carport: A couple of Willy Wagtails have made a beautiful nest and laid three eggs! They have been around for a few years; last year nesting in a nectarine tree, and are quite unafraid of us. They go berserk when a Crow or Currawong approach the nearby birdwater bowl, dive bombing and pulling at tail or head feathers. The eggs were laid about 8 days ago. I read that incubation is 14 days, so perhaps we'll see the baby birds at the end of this week. Best wishes to you all in your gardens and on your walks.

6
Re: Our Gardens
On Tuesday morning it was 0.3° in my neck of the woods and these two turned up looking for a feed. We gave them seed last year so I think they remembered. So I put some seed out for them which they duly ate.

I was making school lunches this morning when a piercing bird chirrup drew my attention. It had been going on for a couple of minutes before I properly paid attention. It was the fellow again, demanding to be fed. His missus sits in the ghost gum until she thinks it's safe. I went out with seed again, this time feeding him by hand. Missus wasn't sure so I threw some seed into the garden for her.
I am a well trained human!


I was making school lunches this morning when a piercing bird chirrup drew my attention. It had been going on for a couple of minutes before I properly paid attention. It was the fellow again, demanding to be fed. His missus sits in the ghost gum until she thinks it's safe. I went out with seed again, this time feeding him by hand. Missus wasn't sure so I threw some seed into the garden for her.
I am a well trained human!


5
Re: On Our Walks
It's quite amazing how much you learn to do @Annie C isn't it? Necessity (and lack of funds lol) makes us gals pretty bloody handy I reckon.

5
Re: On Our Walks
Only my eldest remembers the big 15 year drought here. I remember when he was seven years old we had a rare torrential downpour and he knelt on the windowseat for a long time just staring at it. He'd simply never seen anything like it.
As a result, the younger kids are all appalling with shower times. So I bought shower timers. Seems to be working.
As a result, the younger kids are all appalling with shower times. So I bought shower timers. Seems to be working.

5