Is "Brian" the new Farnham??
So.......I thought I had given my lump "Brian" a beautiful farewell concert, complete with audience, drinks and a hearty "F...k Off Brian" back in March. At that stage, I was cruising through the Stage 1, grade 3 euphoria of "You got this Girl!" Doctor will do a Lumpectomy one morning, rip out a few nodes, dose of radiation and some pills just in case. Oh yeah, I was still scared, but I was being told - "we" got this!" "Brian" has left the building!!! So......the discovery of a 85mm lump of "Brian" and 4 positive nodes and 1 pissed off node, caused panic and it is now Mastectomy time. The family and I throw a "Fast and Furious" Movie Marathon as a Farewell to "Lefty". Receive a beautiful Love Note from my oldest daughter thanking "Lefty" for being an amazing breast and the Husband gets the final touch.. Rocked up for surgery on 6th May -it goes really well. Up and about that afternoon walking with the drip in my room, that I share with a 72 year old Lady who "Screams" in her sleep, calls out my name nonstop, refuses to eat and sneaks off for cigarette breaks. I wanted to go home just so i could actually sleep and rest!!! Anyway, 2 days after surgery, Dr. (I am God) Bolshy turns up with his entourage of Junior Registrars and says - "you can go home and by the way you are now Stage 3, Grade 3 and walks off." W.T.F. Did you just say? I had to chase this Bastard down the hallway and make him come back to my room!!!!!!!!!!!!! he refuses to tell me anymore other than you have jumped from Stage 1 to Stage 3 - the surgical team will tell you. I met up with the Surgical team last week and all hell breaks loose! "Brian" made a comeback!!! In fact "Brian" had been a busy little Lead Singer - shacking up with as many "Cell Groupies" as he could find the energy for and also shacked up with a Node (making 5 positive now and 1 annoyed) while spreading the love around! All he needed was 3 weeks of love action and he had created another 2mm aggressive growing "lump" near the original site where he was sliced/diced from the show and left his love juice in the form of 18mm of "Baby growing cancer cells" in my milk ducts. I am literally so shocked, I am unable to talk, comprehend or make any sense of what i was being told. What happened to "We got this??" Even though I am told "Brian is gone" and all is well - I am wondering if "Brian" is going to do a Farnsy and keep on making a comeback tour??? Anyway, IF Brian has left any love juice in my body or is thinking of making a 'Come Back" tour - He is in for a rude shock! I have a new band signed up to play in my body - SHE is called "Chemo and The Chemicals".....playing Centre Stage for the next 5 months in LOIS TOWN.....!! (lol) My new Motto: Find positivity in the little things and Use your words to defeat adversaries! Big Hugs Lois......who is not a Doctor's doormat.
Surgery Completed :)
Hi all. Just wanted to thank you lovely ladies for all the help and reassurance before my surgery. As an update, I went in for a lumpectomy on Wednesday. It was a very long day as we were told to arrive at 8am and my surgery did not take place until 6 pm but I am very glad it is all over. I had 6 lymph nodes removed and the initial pathology results showed that no cancer had spread to them but I will obviously need to wait for the final pathology results in the next couple of weeks. I came home yesterday and I actually feel allot better than I thought I would have, a little pain but only when I move around too much. Honestly just glad to be home and grateful that it all went so well. Thank you all again and I wish everyone success on your journeys.
Newbie…long story
Hi everyone, Newbie here. Never dreamt I would be joining this club, but who does ?! This forum and website have been so helpful to me over the past month. My journey started last June when I decided to speak with my GP about a tender spot right on the inside edge of my left breast. She reassured me that tenderness isn’t typically a symptom of breast cancer, but we would check it out. Got an ultrasound and mammogram. US identified a small mass, mammo some calcifications. Got an us biopsy around October, all clear. Then around Christmas I noticed some brown nipple discharge (took a while to accept it was coming from the nipple, thought I had spilt something…. Every few days in the same spot!!!). Back to the GP, another ultrasound. The report said there was “debris” in the duct, couldn’t exclude papilloma, MRI would confirm, surgical consult recommended. So off for the consult, after which I was told the discharge was due to trauma to the breast from the biopsy (they didn’t send me for the MRI). This was purely based on discussion and very brief examination. In hindsight and knowing what I do now, I would have pushed back and demanded the MRI regardless. Relief! But my GP wasn’t convinced. She sent me for an MRI then a consult with a specialist breast surgeon who, after looking at the MRI, immediately sent me for some MRI and stereotactic biopsies…2 in my left and one in the right. That was a bit of a marathon! I was convinced it was all a waste of time and money! I turned up to the surgeon for results unconcerned…obviously rather naive! “You’ve got a lot going on in your breasts!” were her first words. LCIS and papilloma in my right breast, DCIS and invasive Mucinous carcinoma in my left. I was speechless. Shocked. Bewildered. Confused. We briefly discussed next steps, but I couldn’t get out of there fast enough! I called my husband in tears. We went back together to the surgeon the following Monday, after doing a bit of research, lots of reading, and chatting with a wonderful McGrath Breast Care Nurse. After asking more questions, I decided on a left mastectomy and right lumpectomy. Plus sentinel node biopsy on the left. But I was so angry. How could the first surgeon send me away without really being sure??!! I went through all the feelings, disbelief, anger, sadness, grief, a bit more anger, and finally acceptance (mostly anyway!!). I realise I have to let go of the anger, and am taking it on as a learning - it’s important to advocate for our own health and not accept something too easily if it doesn’t seem right. Hubby and I had a two week holiday booked up north the following week, which the surgeon said was fine, so we booked surgery for August 13, ten days after we would get home. The holiday was great, we hadn’t told anyone at that point (except my mum and work). We were able to not think about it and had some really special time together. It was good to have the space and time to process what was happening. so now I’m one week post surgery, contemplating the future, keen to get back to everything I used to do. I had been training for a half marathon in September, which of course now won’t be happening. We are hiking the Overland Track in February, so that’s what I’m aiming for. I’m so very lucky to have an amazing, competent, supportive partner. He has taken the same time off work as me to support my recovery. He even washed my hair for me yesterday :-) Recovery is going pretty well, although I’m often still uncomfortable in bed. Getting the drain tube out a couple of days ago was wonderful! We go back to the surgeon next week (two weeks after surgery) for dressings etc and results. Fingers and toes are all crossed! Thanks for getting this far, there’s something a little cathartic in writing this down. I’ve really appreciated reading others stories, it helps with knowing we are not alone and the feelings are valid. Thank you :-) Belinda xx
Sharing is caring. Thanks ladies
Hi ladies. Thank you for sharing your experiences, ups and downs. I get online and just read a few posts every now and then and it really is encouraging and gives me a good laugh at times. My surgery is in 11 days now...thank goodness, the waiting is the hardest. I'm having a bilateral mastectomy and I'm actually fine with it, especially after joining this group and reading your experiences. You are all wonderful.recovery and life
It has been a week since my surgery for the lumpectomy and node removal. Funny enough, I was not nervous. I went into surgery calm and with the attitude - I am in good hands. Surgery took a bit longer because I found out today they got a rather nasty surprise.....the lump measured 8.5 cm or 85mm instead of the 2.5 cm they thought it was going to be. In their words "it was angry". With my slightly dark sense of humour - all I thought was "you would be angry too if someone came and threw you out of your comfortable home!" However, i know that 'angry' is not a good phrase in medical terms. The nodes biopsy hauled out 5 and 4 came back positive with the 5th showing signs of being 'annoyed'...clearly another medical term for "Not happy Jan!' This afternoon, I am being 'rushed' in for a full body cat scan and on Monday a bone scan is to be done. The medical team were hoping for both scans to be done tomorrow so they could have the results to be back for the conference being held prior to our meeting Monday afternoon. Alas, they will only have the CT scan. The doctor was truly fantastic in her delivery of how things had gone and she gave me time to try and catch my breath again. Once we had finished talking, my Breast Care Nurse called and confirmed the appointments, requirements for them and then asked the important questions - "How are you feeling??" - shell shocked again but to be honest, I had a 'feeling' that there would be more to come. So, come Monday - a new ball game will begin and this time the team and I will be going in to win the game! Oh yes by the way - the scars have healed amazingly. had 1 really rough day out which had me in tears, I found as long as me and my new best friend - my little u-shaped pillow go everywhere together - I am comfortable. Hope you are all coping with the lock-downs and life is throwing you giggles, chuckles and laughter. Lois xx
Just touching base :)
Hi lovelies I've just got back home from surgery last Thursday :). On the pre-op scans they found a 2nd mass which had been "overshadowed" by the main mass on previous checks, so that's been taken away as well. Lumpectomy (with the 2 masses) & full axillary lymph clearance (lymphs were already proven as malignant in the initial biopsies) & I must say that the surgical team did a very lovely job with the lumpectomy :) I have the surgical follow up appointment next Friday (before people start their Xmas breaks) & the 1st MDT meeting after Xmas will be 7th January. So it's a quick trip down to Tassie on New Years day to see our daughter. The poor thing only just moved to Tasmania & 2 weeks later I rang her to say "It's all okay, BUT Dad's just had a Heart attack!" & then 2 weeks after that I rang her again to say "It's all okay, BUT I've got Breast Cancer!"... I figure we'd better see her just to prove that we really ARE both okay before we start getting organised for the next steps, with Chemo starting sometime in January :) Happy holidays to all everyone. <3
Today's feelings in poetry
Lucky So lucky, people say. That they caught it when they did That it hasn’t spread That they got it all That I have insurance So, so lucky. That my friend told me about her cancer That I finally moved my arse and Went and had that mammogram That I live in the lucky country So lucky That my prognosis is good That my job will be there for me That I am surrounded by family and friends With their love, soup and casseroles. Lucky. That my new set are perkier Smaller, Scar-rier, numb-ier. A bit lopsided Like me. Some days though, I just feel A tiny bit Unlucky.
Bye bye boobs
Five days to go until I farewell my breasts. I am comfortable with my decision but nervous about the emotional impact of the outcome. How can you anticipate an amputation of this nature, physically or mentally? I'm not afraid of medical procedures or pain (eight and a half hours of labour with no painkillers pushing out a 9lb11oz baby...), but I am nervous of being under for 8 - 10 hours. My low blood pressure issues and collapse a few weeks ago are playing on my mind. My GP is being cautious and doing some heart tests and I'll be having a good chat with the anaesthetist. I'm comforted by the people who've gone before me and say they have no regrets. I know I'm doing the right thing, for me and my family. My lovely breast surgeon agrees. However I am sad. My breasts are actually a body part I liked. We've had some fun over the years; it's challenging to say goodbye to such a delightful erogenous zone. Nerves and apprehension have been rising as the operation's approached, but have been mostly under control. However last night, after a busy day of distraction, the moment I turned off my light I was swamped with anxiety that went on all night. I had a shocker. The valium I took at 3am didn't help (it was only a 2). I'm a member of the Choosing Breast Reconstruction Group but it's pretty quiet over there so @iserbrown suggested I post here too, so you all can keep me company through the next bump on this wretched rollercoaster. Black humour welcome!
Two months after finding the lump
Hi BCNA community, Today is exactly two months since 14 June 2018, the day I found the lump in my right breast that changed everything. I thought it was as good a reason as any to introduce myself and summarise my journey so far. It was cathartic for me to get this all out - but is longer than I intended ( so I fully understand if you skim or don't read it!). I am 41 and live with my partner and three cats, we don't have children. Discovery and family history Two months' ago, I put my hand on my right breast and felt a firm lump. My partner felt it too, to make sure I wasn't imaging things, as it seemed to have come from nowhere. I previously found a lump in 2016, which was a fibroadenoma. This lump felt different. I have a family history of breast cancer on my fathers' side. So I knew it was important to get it checked. After my GP examined it, she arranged an appointment the next day for a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. I knew then what she thought it was, although she tried to reassure me that it might be benign. Scans and biopsy First up was the mammogram, starting with my left breast, which while uncomfortable, went seamlessly. Next was the right breast. The lady seemed frustrated with me for not following directions properly, but it hurt so much I burst into tears. Up to that point, I had been almost numb about it all. She offered to get my partner from the waiting room, but I thought I might get more upset, so I sat in the change room until I regained my composure. Following an ultrasound, a doctor performed a core biopsy and two fine needle biopsies of other spots (since found to be fibroadenomas). The doctor told me that his job was to be thorough and prepare for the worst case scenario, and that I should try not to think about it until I got my results (which of course had the opposite effect). Diagnosis My GP told me in a factual and caring way that I had a 24 mm ER/PR positive tumour (the HER2 results were unclear), and while it would be a matter for the breast surgeon and oncologist to assist me to decide my treatment plan, I would likely need a lumpectomy or mastectomy, followed by chemo, radiation therapy and hormone treatment for 5/10 years. Everything she said has turned out to be pretty spot on. The most difficult part was next - telling my partner and parents. Further tests and surgery As the breast surgeon my GP referred me to in Canberra was away, I went to one in Sydney. The breast surgeon said my family history was strong, and referred me for an MRI. While the MRI was costly, it was important to determine what surgery I required as my breasts are dense and the mammogram and ultrasound were not that clear. (I had no idea my breasts were dense or this affected the reliability of the results when I had previous scans in 2016). The surgeon repeated that my pathology showed I would likely need chemo, radiation and HT. On July 27, I had a lumpectomy, which successfully removed the tumour, and a sentinel node biopsy, which was clear. The day of surgery was tough, because I had a migraine. Thankfully, I recovered and the surgery proceeded. My breast surgeon personally called my partner afterwards to let him know that it went well, which he really appreciated. All up, I have had six trips to Sydney, and my partner or parents have accompanied me each time, their support invaluable. Next stop -chemo Chemo starts next Friday, 24 August. I had my first appointment with the oncologist last week. Just before the appointment, further results came in that it was HER 2 positive ( a previous ISH test reported it was HER 2 negative). As a result, I will have 12 months of herception. I was also advised that the pathology showed the cancer was aggressive and fast growing. I had a choice between two types of chemo - four cycles of TC, or 6 cycles of FEC-D. While the FEC-D may reduce the likelihood of recurrence by slightly, it was also more toxic with additional side effects. I was given a couple of days to decide and read some material, and I have decided on TC. It was a difficult decision after only a short discussion with the oncologist, but now it is made, I want to proceed without regret. I have also now had a bone scan, CT scan and heart scan in preparation of chemo. Work? As for work, my GP suggested taking at least 6 months off, if not longer to focus on my treatment and recovery. My work is open to me either taking the leave or working part-time, if I can. I think perhaps I should go with my Doctor's recommendation due to the likely/possible side effects from chemo, other treatment as well as fatigue and the emotional impact of it all. I would be interested to hear from others about whether you could work during this time. Throughout this, my partner has been by my side and my parents cut short a long anticipated trip across Australia to provide support. I have still felt lonely and adrift at times, but it would be so much harder without love and support from close family and friends. Some people have been a bit disappointing, but that's how it goes. To end on a happy note, a month ago, we got a beautiful kitten from a pet rescue to join our other two cats and he has brought a lot of joy, laughter and cuddles.Newly Diagnosed with further tests required
Hi. I was diagnosed a little over a week ago and I had a surgeon appointment today. She wants an MRI as my breast tissue is so dense some of the images are too vague for her to determine a clear surgery plan. But I have a potential surgery date for a few weeks time. I am thinking this is good that she is being thorough. But it does concern me as there may be more than meets the eye and she has given me that warning. Current knowledge is that I have 2 areas of concern, close to each other on same side, hormone positive, HER2 negative, provisional stage 1. One area is about 7mm, the other is ill defined and this is what she wants more images of. I feel better after meeting the surgeon, and hearing her explanation, her delivery of the plan from here and her general 'bedside manner' was the perfect amount of real. She took the time to understand what was concerning me. I am running the Sydney Marathon at the end of the month and after doing all the training and prep I would have been devastated if I couldn't run it. However we have a plan to get me there. So even though I need more scans to be certain of exactly what is going on, I am feeling as good as can be as there is some progress. In the back of my mind, is what if it is more than the fairly common and small areas I have? I can't dwell as it is what it is. I will focus on the run and deal with these things as they arise!
