Everything is shrinking!
I haven't been here for a while and thought this would be a good place for advice. Its 4 years since diagnosed with BC and 2.5 years post treatment. I have been so focused on my general health, resuming work and looking after sick elderly parents that I have neglected my sexual health. Basically everything is shrinking (except for my waistline). 56 and post menopause, sex is very painful. I've been using Yes moisturiser and lubricant and not able to use any hormone treatments. My question is does anyone have experience using vaginal dilator therapy and physio? I think I'll need to see a gynaecologist at some point after the holiday period. Thanks in advance. CB
The impact of breast cancer on intimacy
Note from BCNA: The following is a guest post in a series we're bringing you this year. Jane Fletcher is a health psychologist with over 15 years’ experience working with individuals with breast cancer. She runs a specialist psycho-oncology private practice at Cabrini Health and Epworth Freemasons. Jane holds adjunct appointments with the Szalmuk Family Psycho-oncology Research Unit based at Cabrini Health and with Monash University. Jane continues to offer evidence based intervention to individuals, couples and families at all stages of the cancer experience.. She has extensive experience using cognitive-behavioural therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, a range of existential approaches and mindfulness based interventions. She is qualified in medical hypnosis and uses this for the treatment of cancer related sleep disorder, phobic and conditioned responses. She has a special interest in sexuality and is experienced in a range of specific interventions for the psycho-sexual issues associated with a cancer diagnosis. Special interests include breast, gynaecological, prostate, bowel, lung and haematological cancers. She also works with those who have tested gene positive for cancer who may require prophylactic surgical intervention. Jane speaks widely, both locally and internationally, to peers and those living with a cancer diagnosis and hold adjunct appointments with Monash University and the Szalmuk Family Psycho-oncology Unit. Some of you may know Jane from BCNA's information forums. The Impact of breast cancer on intimacy A diagnosis of breast cancer affects all member of the family unit and can have a huge impact an individuals intimate relationship. So what is intimacy? We use the word intimacy often without defining exactly what we are talking about. Intimacy is not just sexual intercourse, it includes emotional and/or physical closeness. So why can intimacy be an issue post breast cancer? A diagnosis of breast cancer is a traumatic event and this trauma can impact on an individuals desire for intimacy. Surgery can have a significant effect on the way an individual feels about themselves. Scaring and changes in the way the body looks impact self-esteem. Body image can also be affected by the many side effects of treatment including weight gain and hair loss. These can impact on how attractive you feel and often result in a reduced desire for intimacy. In addition, the treatments used in breast cancer can effect the sex hormones produced and this may have an impact on a range of aspects of the sexual experience. Libido, or the desire for a sexual experience, may be affected and the reduction in desire for sex may cause tension and confusion in the relationship, especially if the other partner’s desire for sex is higher. This ‘libido mismatch may already exist in some relationships and this situation can often be worsened by the treatments for breast cancer. The reduction in desire for sex can also be confusing for the other person in the relationship. People often feel rejected and blame themselves, thinking that they are no longer attractive or loved. Just thinking for a moment about your own experience, how often have you either raised issues related to intimacy with your health professionals or been asked if there are any issues? Many people report not raising issues as they were not asked if there was an issue. This ‘cone of silence’ just increases the poor communication that exists in this area. So what can you do to help the situation? The most effective intervention for any issues related to intimacy involves open and honest communication. The avoidance of assumptions and the willingness to do things differently will help build closeness and further deepen a relationship. Emotional intimacy involves the expression of emotion in a way that lets the other person know how you are feeling. It does not mean being able to know what the person is thinking or feeling but being able to ask questions and listen in a non-judgmental way. A relationship that is based on good communication will have a level of emotional intimacy that will assist in managing the impact of breast and its treatments on physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is more than sexual intercourse or sexual behaviour. It involves touch and that is essential in the release of one of our pleasure hormones, oxytocin. Touch can be a hug between friends or it can have a more sensual aspect. Touch is an important part our sexual/sensual toolkit. By talking to your partner you are able to expand the sexual/sensual toolkit and discover new things that other person may like and this may be additive to a relationship. Touch is also an important part of sexual excitement or arousal. Sexual arousal is still possible even if your desire for physical intimacy is low. The arousal response may just take more time. When a woman becomes aroused or turned on, there is an increased blood flow to the walls of the vagina, which caused fluid to pass through the walls and is the main source of lubrication. This lubrication is what makes the vagina wet. The production of lubrication can be reduced by the treatments for breast cancer. Vaginal dryness is a significant issue for many women post breast cancer. If the vagina is dry and we try to have sex, it is going to be painful and pain on sexual intercourse may cause an avoidance response. The use of a good quality lubricant is essential. BCNA’s booklet Breast cancer and sexual wellbeing has a section comparing some of the lubricants available. Your breast care nurse will also be able to assist and will be able to advise where you can buy lubricants locally and you can always shop online. If you find that lubrication does not help then please talk to a member of your health care team. What to do if you need help? Sometimes we need guidance to be able to discuss these issues. There are great resources available and a good starting point is BCNA’s booklet Breast cancer and sexual wellbeing. Your breast care nurse is a fantastic resource and if they cannot help they will be able to refer you to a suitably trained health professional. BCNA also have a telephone counseling service available for individuals with metastatic disease and the health professionals involved are skilled in discussing issues relating to intimacy. It can be embarrassing raising issues relating to sexual intimacy but if you raise an issue with a member of your health care team then you are closer to finding some strategies to improve the situation.
Menopause - It's more than a hot flush! Recording available now
The recording of Menopause - It's more than a hot flush! webcast is now available here. We hope you find it both informative and enjoyable. Please feel free to share feedback, questions or thoughts below in the discussion. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ask the Expert: Menopause – It’s more than a hot flush! on Wednesday 6 December 2023. Many people experience changes to their sexual wellbeing associated with breast cancer treatment that can be caused by menopause or menopause-like symptoms. These can include vaginal dryness or discomfort, loss of libido (sex drive), changes to self-esteem and fatigue. Topics like these can often be difficult to discuss with your partner or health professional and it can be reassuring to know you are not alone. During this webcast, you will hear from Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician based in Adelaide. Dr Mezzini is a leader in this area, with her level of expertise, she provides best practice and compassionate medical care. She presents in an open, informative and engaging way about sexual health and wellbeing. The webcast will be facilitated by BCNA Consumer Representative, Naveena Nekkalapudi. Following her diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer and the subsequent treatment, Naveena decided to re-evaluate her life and focus on matters that are important to her. She describes it as changing from being career ambitious to being life ambitious. Naveena is a consumer representative of BCNA, Cancer Council Victoria, Breast Cancer Trials, VCCC, and Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research to name a few. This webcast will help to provide you with strategies to manage menopausal symptoms and discuss the support available to assist you with your sexual and emotional wellbeing.
Treat post Breast Cancer vaginal dryness with the purest lubricants
Manufactured in England, the water based moisturiser is the first certified organic product put on the NHS in England available on script from doctor. Unfortunately, we don't have vaginal moisturises available on script in Australia. From what I have been advised from BCNA Policy they do not believe worth pursuing an application for vaginal moisturisers to be made available on script here in Australia. For anyone suffering vaginal atrophy and unable to treat with estrogen pessaries/creams (on script) I suggest you have a look at these products. They cannot reverse vaginal atrophy the same as estrogen but some ladies on this site have found they definitely help matters. Vaginal moisturisers are best used every 2nd or third day, the pre-filled applicators can be very expensive so if you can afford them these products are worth a try (I think they have free samples). Just check out the site. Always remember to run list of ingredients past your doctor. https://www.yesyesyes.org/breastcancer/ For further information this is an article written by Susi Lennox, co-founder of Yes which was published in a Newsletter for the charity, Cancer Options UK www.canceroptions.co.uk. You will also find some extensive feedback from customers from all over the world on their testimonial page https://www.yesyesyes.org/why-yes/customer-expert-testimonials/?cat=7 I buy direct from Yes as I think it cheaper however if looking to buy in Australia you may have some luck from the following companies: http://www.greenorganics.com.au/ https://organictrader.com.au/catalogue/
Sex after Double Mastectomy no Recon.
I am surprised by the lack of comments about recommencing intimate relationships after mastectomy. Sex can be such a positive and wonderful part of a relationship, maintaining connectedness, expressing longing and desire, and intimately knowing each other. The release of feelings. But even in a close, and long term relationship its pretty scary after surgery to try and rebuild, every so slowly, those connections, and perhaps will we ever feel confident again? Of course, not every person is fortunate enough to be in a relationship, or in a relationship that allows for safe sexual expression, and I acknowledge that. I'm sorry, I can only speak from where I am now. I think we all need a safe space to discuss the hurdles of sexual relationships after surgery. Breasts are part of our sexual identity - I imagine for most people. what I would like to say is this. We put it off for a bit. I was just starting to rebuild a bit of joy in my life, after the initial grieving, the early grief that is so profound and sad, and then we had sex. I liken it to when the stockmarket plummets. You bought shares at $5 and they are now 'worth' 20c. If you don't sell them, they may regain their value eventually. But when you sell them the losses are realised. So having sex for the first time afterwards, I felt, for me personally was like selling the shares when the market is low. The losses are realised. While we didn't have sex, all my memories are pleasant, and I remember good things, I'm still worth $5. But once we did, that joy of all the things that involved my boobs (so many parts of sex involve boobs I realise...) are suddenly screaming very loudly. It was profoundly sorrowful for me. I felt my missing "$4.80" and its going to take a lot of work, compassion, love and time for both of us to discover and create a new $4.80. We have been here before, finding our new normal after surgery has changed the way our relationship works. We will get there. It's different, its never the same, but it can still be good. I have listened to Dr Charlotte Tottman's podcast 'what you don't know til you know' - I know it will get better, we will find new tricks, new rituals, new joys. I just wanted to put this out there in the universe.
Anti hormone therapy, Anastrozole, sexual function
I am 66 and was diagnosed with early breast cancer, estrogen positive, in June and have had breast conservation surgery and completed 16 treatments of radiation last week. On Monday I have to see my medical oncologist who will give me the yeah or nay to anti hormone therapy on Anastrozole for five years. The treatments seem to be getting more problematic as I advance through them. The surgery in hindsight seems like a breeze. The literature on the side effects of Anastrozole are mind blowing; going through menopause (again), I am a lesbian so why I want a men-o-pause is beyond me (joke!), nausea, vomiting, elevated cholesterol, fluid retention, joint pains, dry vagina, bone loss, loss of sexual desire. I have read of women who have had negative changes in the way they view their bodies and sexual functioning and desire but I am having a different experience. After the operation I became aware for the first time in my life how much I appreciate my breasts and I want them to be a part of my identity. When I first grew breasts, I saw them as a restriction to playing cricket with the neighbourhood kids. I never saw their power and beauty before now. The other major change for me sexually is that the sex switch in my brain has been turned on again. I am single and am now contemplating and fantasising on sharing intimacy, loving and sex with another woman as a part of my future. A number of years ago I was going through a difficult patch and had shut down any thoughts of this to help cope getting through everyday life. I would love to hear your thoughts on any of the above. What has been your experience on Anastrozole and the side effects. Thanks for reading my story and I thank you in advance for your input. Many of the discussions and responses on this site have helped me enormously with questions I have had over the past few months.
new post on "Let's talk about Vaginas"
Let's talk about vaginas Online Q&A Session Hi everyone there is a new post on the group from @Marianne_BCNA about a session they would like to run, Can members please go and read it and respond. For some reason it is not broadcasting it out as an email notification to members of the group.
