Sex after Double Mastectomy no Recon.

Hi @Broccoli, I hear ya! My husband has just been gradually conditioned to not touch the no go zone. I had a lumpectomy and radiation back in 2003 and it basically left my left breast too uncomfortable to touch so right breast got the action! Then I had bc again in 2010 and had to have that breast removed. After that I no longer did naked in bed-I was 54yrs. Now at 67,I ‘ve just had the other breast removed and I’m flat and don’t like my chest touched. I’ve mourned the loss of my remaining breast and it was a big decision to remove it.But I look in the mirror and tell myself it’s the price you’ve paid for your life and no more bc worries. I don’t let my husband see my chest or touch my chest- whether that is normal or not,I don’t care.But it certainly enables me to have good sex without feeling awkward.My husband is understanding but then again, he’s in his 70’s.I’d hate to negotiate this in our forties. My mastectomy was only 5mths ago so I’m still navigating this ‘flat’ life.I may have more wisdom to impart in a few years time.

So many different aspects. I can't begin to grasp all the many challenges different treatments present. Its healthy to acknowledge them.
For those of us 'fortunate' enough to have 'only' lost our breasts and not have any other treatments, the hurdles are still great. Sometimes I just get fed up of feeling grateful, and need to mourn my losses. The grief is real wherever our own journey has fallen.  Perhaps DMX deserves its own private group. Let's talk vaginas isn't probably for people not on hormone affecting medications?
Thanks for your inputs, I am sure there are plenty of folk who gain strength from reading, but feel unable to contribute. I feel that as not many people know my nickname is broccoli I'm fairly anonymous and can express myself somewhat freely. 

Hi @Broccoli, as Afraser mentioned there are private groups like the Lets talk about vaginas, however you right to say there isn't much discussion really.

 Even our medical people don't discuss it. There is no warning about libidos or dryness or anything from surgeon or oncologist. I recall my oncologist giving me a sheet on my meds and a passing comment about side effects of my AIs. It really should be discussed more openly as a side effect of breast cancer. 

My husband actually asked the oncologist nurse about sex during chemo, not because he was wanting to put any pressure on me but we did both wonder about it.  The nurse said no one ever asks about it so she was actually shocked when he did. She did eventually say that we should not have sex for a few days after a treatment because those toxic chemo drugs could impact the cells on his penis if we did.

The fact is cancer treatment does impact libidos, vaginally dryness and more. Having a loving relationship helps to restart a sexual relationship post treatment. It all takes time and understanding. 

There no doubt should be more discussion straight up about this so we are all prepared. Perhaps the silence is due to the privacy most have about their sexual relationships. Thank you for bringing the subject up. There might be others who add to this. 

Some of the special groups have discussed sexual relations post cancer treatment, particularly the effects some treatment can have on both libido and the vagina. It’s a hugely varied subject depending on relationships, duration of relationships and treatment, age, expectations, prior sexual experience, you name it! It’s also really personal - some are happy to share, others not so much. Main thing is that those having difficulties resuming their sex life (some never stopped) might have some support and good advice.