New and so confused
I am Grade 2, sentinel lymph node free, deciding if the 4 or 5% difference of having Chemo or going straight into radiation and onto tablets and with the added severe family history of kidney and heart disease. So confused ‘do I do Chemo or not’ I know it’s my decision but would like to know if other women have same or similar diagnosis. The oncologist said last week you have 6% extra chance of survival and then today said 4 or 5%.
Triple Negative
Hi there, I’m new to this site and to be honest very scared. I had surgery a week ago to have a cancer removed (lumpectomy). Results are in. Clear margins and clear nodes (that’s the good news) Grade 3 Stage 1 so caught an aggressive cancer early but I’m also triple negative. For the first time since my diagnosis my doctor used the word chemo and it scares me more than the initial diagnosis. Everything I read about triple negative is scary. Everything I read about Chemo is scary. It still needs to be discussed wether chemo will be beneficial for me. Has anyone been diagnosed with triple negative and not required Chemo?
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?" This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children. Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting. I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival. I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all. My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story. I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance. Cheers Janet
Another bad start to the year
Hi guys I was diagnosed last week with Breast Cancer after my GP did a boob check at a routine Pap Smear in Nov. She sent me for another mammogram in early Dec (altho the July 2017 one was clear and also didn't pick it up in the 'new one') and ultrasound .... the ultrasound came back as 'inconclusive', suggesting a Biopsy under Ultrasound. I had that on Dec 29 and got the results back last Friday. Cancer confirmed. I'd convinced myself they were cysts as I'd had cysts previously (tho never aspirated or tested in any way) so was stunned when it came back positive. My family history was always heart attack - no-one that I know of has ever had any cancer in my family history. I have my first appointment with the surgeon in Sydney on Monday and hope that surgery will be sooner than later. I live in the mid north coast - so lots of travel involved from now on. My husband had most of his stomach removed from cancer in 2010 - so whilst going thru all that, we became quite accustomed to the hospitals & chemo - but I still wasn't prepared when it came to my own diagnosis. :( My 2 tumours are small & been caught early - so I am hoping for the best result - but will only find that out after seeing the surgeon. I used a couple of forums to help me thru my husband's diagnosis (he is still in remission, 8 years later, which is pretty good for Stomach Cancer) and am happy to join BCNA in a similar role for me.
Terrified of what lies ahead!
Hi, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday the 8th November. My eldest child finishes school this year and we were meant to be heading off to Europe on the 28th November for the trip of a lifetime which had been in the planning for 2 years and now I face the biggest challenge of my life and I'm absolutely terrified. My anxiety levels are through the roof and I can't sleep. I feel totally consumed by this cancer diagnosis. I saw my GP yesterday who is trying to get me into see my surgeon ASAP but I have to wait until Monday until I'll know some more. How do I get through the weekend and the weeks ahead?
New To BCNA
Hello Everyone, My name is Gavin and my wife (Karen) was recently advised she had BC (March 9th), I’ve been a rock for her and our two kids at home (we’re in our 50’s) and have advised my girls living at home that I’m there for their mums journey and will be her biggest support person, I’ve done a bit of reading over the last could of weeks through these boards and reminded our kids to be strong and positive around mum but also mentioned that it will get a bit tougher for her as the months roll on but if they needed to share worries or concerns, I would be there for them and would love the chance to share mine with them if and when needing too, however advised them we would need to do this away from mum so we can ensure she remains strong and has positivity around her. We have our first appointment with a care team to learn more about things this week and I was wondering what I may expect with regards to her treatment (yet to know) causing tiredness etc, I was hoping to take her on a short cruise for 3-5 days to give her some enjoyment and relaxing time however I see most of the good ones are limited / full meaning the next available time could be Jan 2020. I will ask the doctors but was hoping to surprise my wife but was wondering if I should look at something else prior to commencing treatment or wait until after treatment even though I’m unsure of recovery timing. I know each and everyone’s plan is different and my question may not be readily available for an answer, I’m just looking at things she’s been wanting to do but has never really had the time to so. We’ve already been through a lot of health issues together and I’m just wanting to take some of that worry I see away and for me to try and pre-plan a bit.
Completely overwhelmed
so, found lump a week ago, had biopsy 3 days later after mammogram and ultrasound. Had to wait to today for results. Thought was going to have lumpectomy and radiation but today told it's a triple negative high grade tumour so seeing oncologist next week to talk about chemo. feel very under researched! I had spent the intervening days looking at all the lumpectomy reading and therapy, now feel like I have hit by a truck... my main worry (after the cancer and my kids) is costs, I do not understand how the health system works for cancer. My consultant has sent me to a private oncologist, is this normal? I have bupa (who, when I thought it was lumpectomy said they cover costs) but I don't know what they pay. I am having CT and bone scans on Monday, and I know there is a rebate on that. I am just so confused, just wanted to talk, thanks X
Adjusting to bad news, staying hopeful, changing habits
Hi, I am a 44 year old mother of two girls, 3 and 7. Was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday evening after a mammogram and ultrasound in the morning. On Wednesday I saw a specialist who sent me for biopsies and scans. On Thursday afternoon I learnt that I have HER2 positive BC in my right breast (3x3cm with two smaller tumours nearby), and one lymph node biopsied because it was enlarged was also cancerous. A lump on the left was benign. It does not appear to have spread to bones, pelvis, liver etc however there were two 5mm nodules in my lung that might be BC. I am hoping they are something else but have to be prepared in case the cancer already is stage 4. I remember the doctor said it was grade 2-3 but not sure if that is the same thing as stage 2-3. I have somehow lost the reports, so I can't look over the details until they are mailed but I have an appointment on Wednesday with a different specialist to plan treatment. I am glad that things are moving quickly but am still reeling from the news and wish the appointment was sooner. I think I will be having preadjuvant chemo and/or targeted treatment, followed by a mastectomy of the right breast in several months (with optional rebuild), however I have not met with the oncologist so am not sure what to expect. I should have gotten to a GP weeks ago as I had noticed hardness over many months (which I had thought was related to it being dominant for milk production) and had a sore breast in early July, however because I was breastfeeding and fairly ignorant of BC I mistook the symptoms including a swollen lymph node for mastitis. Only when all pain went way and I noticed the boob seemed bigger and misshapen with a prominent lump did I get myself to a doctor. Waited a week and a half for the scan that showed it was as suspected a malignant carcinoma. Strange thing is it only started hurting again after I learned what it was. I don't know much yet but am trying to learn a bit without scaring myself too much or googling into the night. My youngest daughter has weaned herself, and on the night of the diagnosis she accepted bedtime without breast, understanding that I have sick boobies and the doctor said we should stop. In the middle of the night she was desperate to breastfeed, and I allowed this briefly. That is the last time I fed her, and she has been proud of herself for giving it up but has wanted to kiss it and hug it today. Next move is for me to give up smoking, a bad habit of mine for many years off and on, which is not easy when it has been a response to stress and I have been quite stressed at times. It must be done, as I understand that it increases the risk of metastasis (if it has not already happened) and I wouldn't want to invite another cancer along right now. But I am trying to be gentle with myself when I occasionally light them only to put them out shortly thereafter. I hope to eliminate this habit fully by Wednesday. I have to clean up my diet and prepare for the treatment. I was a lifelong vegetarian until my early thirties however I have eaten a tiny bit of fish in the past ten years. I eat lots of fruit and veg. However I do have too many sugary things and processed stuff so I need to cut the crap out of the shopping list. Emotionally I have been struggling a bit and I should arrange some counselling to work through my feelings. My mother and friends have been amazing, my husband has been a good support but doesn't like to see me crying, which I think is just a normal thing from time to time in such a circumstance. I am being open and honest with the kids and have been giving them lots of love and sweetness. Honestly I am sometimes very scared but I am trying to be strong for myself and for everyone around me. Sending love and understanding to others with BC, and those who have recently been diagnosed, it's pretty tough to take, huh?A big welcome to all New Online Network Members .....
A warm welcome to all new Online Network members - to the club that no-one really wants to join! Here, You can raise ANY issue, and get helpful replies from those who’ve gone before you, cos we 'get it'. Nothing is off limits. We have ‘private groups’ for some more personal discussions .... so feel free to join any of them, if they suit you. Category: Groups | BCNA Online Network We are happy that you found us - as we were in the same boat not that long ago. The members here are just wonderful and will provide you with as much support as you need. Just ask away! If you put your story in the 'Newly Diagnosed' Thread, we'll have a better understanding of what you are going thru - and don't forget to add your 'town or region' in your Profile info - we may have members nearby who you can meet up with for a chat and a coffee. https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/categories/newly-diagnosed We all know the absolute turmoil that comes with a BC diagnosis .... specially after a ‘clear mammogram’ and no family history. This was my story. My MG was clear just months before my wonderful GP found it, by accident! I had lumpectomy, Rads and now finished after 7 years of AI Tabs. If you can, take someone with you to your appointments for support - as it can be daunting sitting there alone. A 2nd set of ears also picks up points raised that you may have missed - and ask relevant questions too (as did my Sister in Law with me.) Also, consider recording your meetings on your mobile phone - so that you can go over it again later, if you have to, to query a statement, or just to have as a record. Your whole world is turned upside down in a millisecond, as you navigate unknown areas of our health system! It is almost a conveyor belt! First you do this, then this, then go there and do that, then come back here and do this .... and it may take a year or two for your life to settle down. It is totally 100% ok to skip between anger, denial, sadness - but if you find the sadness is overwhelming you, please seek professional help! Your GP may be able to refer you to a psychologist ... or your local Breast Cancer Centre May have help there .... where you are more likely to find a bc specific psychologist who is more familiar with BC issues. Just talking about it openly and sharing it with a professional should be able to give you coping mechanisms ... Also consider ringing our Helpline, for a confidential, one on one chat - just phone 1800 500 258, Mon-Fri, 9-5 You will make new friends who will support you (specially on this forum) and may lose some old ones, who just do not understand what you are going thru. Most of us here, have found wonderful friends within the group and have even met up with them in ‘real life’ before this Covid thing and since - hopefully they'll get on top of it soon & our lives return to a 'new normal'! If there is anything you want to discuss in a more private manner, you can message a member (or a group of members) and chat in total privacy. Personally I found that it mucked with my BRAIN more than anything else! And sometimes that is very hard to control, as it has a mind of its own! Keeping BUSY doing things is the secret .... get back into your hobbies or take up a new one - even more so now with Covid as we can’t get together with buddies as readily as before. Try & keep your sense of humour 'up there' - we have a really good 'funnies page' (called Friday Funnies, but we add them every day!!) Just click on the link to add pics and posts ... https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19116/friday-funnies#latest If you are into arts & crafts, we have a 'Creative Corner' https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14979/creative-corner#latest and if into your garden, a Gardening post as well!! https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/comment/186078#Comment_186078 And we now have a Fishing post, as that is one of my passions! https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19494/fishing-brag-pics If you are an artist or a knitter or do chrochet or other art & craft stuff ..... whack up a picture here!: https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14979/creative-corner#latest ; If you have 'fur kids' - put their pic here & describe their funny antics ... https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/comment/92526#Comment_92526 We even have a funny Xmas page .... feel free to add any that you’ve seen! https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/20086/christmas-funnies-put-them-up-here-for-a-laugh#latest Try not to use Dr Google too much (difficult tho it is) as there is just so much conflicting information out there (and much of it is REALLY OLD & OUT OF DATE), and every BC case is totally 'unique' and it will only scare the pants off you! If you haven't had your surgery yet, we have some posts here on what to take with you to hospital, to make it 'easier' on you. https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/16442/prep-for-surgery/p1 And for your annual checkups, here are some ‘tick sheets’ to help you put your questions together for your medical team. (Make sure you click on the documents at the BOTTOM of the post, as the others are only sample pages.) https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/21973/questions-to-ask-post-surgery-of-yourself-to-your-specialists-tick-sheets-self-assessment/p1 Take care, and all the best to you!