Hi I am Shann and newly diagnosed on the 6th September and waiting for results from a core biopsy.

@shann So glad you're doing much better ! Get it checked ! I got myself in a tizz in november thinking I had a recurrence , but it was scar tissue ,at least a mammogram & ultrasound put my mind at ease . Oncologist appt yesterday ,she was very happy & found nothing out of the ordinary thank heavens xx

Thank you so much ladies for all of your advise and information it is really helpful reading all the different things people have gone through and going through and decisions they have made. All the more information I can take with me to the surgeon next week.

Hi @shann. I am almost three months in to this horror, and the pressure to be the 'good patient' is palpable.My sister died from this bloody disease 20 months ago and I'm raising her two kids along with my two. My 85yo father-in-law moved in with us after his daughter died from a brain tumour in 2015. My husband works 60 hour weeks, 2 - 4 days a week of which is interstate. I have tremendous help and support from friends but the pressure on me to maintain a positive face to everyone is intense and immense. I cry when I'm on my own all the time.I try not to lay my sadness on my clinicians but it's hard and I don't always succeed. I feel like i have had all my choices taken away from me, and feel dismantled inside by the never ending blows. I DREAD the 'new normal' and am quailing at the mountain in front of me.It turns out the only place I can really let loose with my tears is at chemotherapy. One hour of sobbing the first dose, twenty minutes the second. The lovely NUM at the first dose said I was in a safe place and could cry all day if I needed to.I'm seeing a psychologist (community funded and so costs very little) and she is helping I think. She did the depression, anxiety and stress test on me. It said I was severely depressed, moderately anxious and severely stressed. No shit Sherlock... Currently mulling over the concept of anti-depressants.A very good friend conducted the study that proved that being positive has zero effect on cancer outcomes.Get help for the negativity if want/can. But don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is wrong or bad. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, no one else's and are in no way wrong. I am no expert but my psych tells me that one in three women with breast cancer get depressed, and that everything I am feeling is bog standard normal. Yes, in addition to everything else I am a cliché!Hang in there.Chemo 3 tomorrow. Will there be tears?! Probably...

its taken at while for me to feel ok in myself..... I used to wake after I have finished treatments in tears having woken up my kids(teens) with crying in my sleep I then began seeing a psychologist who said I had PTSD from my treatments. Now if I get very tired (note 5yrs later) I still will be crying in my sleep with no nightmares just crying... I accept these days that means I am struggling with processing this emotionally and that is a massive thing for us to go through. Hugs Soldiercrab

The pressure to feel positive and move forward is very real. I finished chemo nearly three weeks ago and start radiation in a week. Feel very lost in the pressure to feel 'positive and grateful'. Some days I am good, some days I am not so good and some days I am both good and bad! I swing through panic, sweats, sadness and a weird sort of numbness. It is overwhelming to process. I loved your comments SoldierCrab and it is comforting that you still have moments of crying. I feel I cry 'too much' but there is actually no rules. It is very much like processing through PTSD.

Newly Diagnosed | BCNA Online Network

236 Replies

Shellshocked201
Member
6 years ago
Sending the biggest cyber hugs to you
xoxo
arpie
Member
6 years ago
That's terrific, @shann - even bigger hugs coming to you xx
jennyss
Member
6 years ago
Dear @shann, here's another virtual (gentle) bear hug

from jennyss in Western NSW
Blossom1961
Member
6 years ago
Great news @shann. After your shaky start you don’t need more hassles. Big hugs
lrb_03
Member
6 years ago
That's great news, and yes, you definitely deserve good news
shann
Member
6 years ago
Ok everyone let me say first thank you all for the kind words and hugs.

Second my results were all clear no malignant cells were seen. Yeah !
Something good for a change, xx
arpie
Member
6 years ago
BIG hugs coming from the East Coast, @shann - I am so sorry to hear of your loss xxxx

How did the biopsy go on the right boob - I had a big scare back in Dec on my affected boob, but luckily the biopsy was clear. Fingers & toes crossed, yours is/was too xx
Doin_it
Member
6 years ago
More hugs coming your way @shann
kmakm
Member
6 years ago
Oh @Shann I'm so sorry to hear your news. The biggest of virtual hugs to you. K xox
lrb_03
Member
6 years ago
As @SoldierCrab said, no great words of advice, but sending all the hugs that I can muster xoxo
I'm really sorry to hear about your son