had my second AC after almost 2 weeks of feeling pretty normal, now back in the depths of despair, day 6, don’t know how I will get through, feel less than human.

Such an amazing group of women, with such good advice and tips to get us through chemo, I wish I could wasn’t in this trip, but how blessed to have this online support, so generous and giving and understanding. I have bounced back after a v low 10 days... have made it through three days of work, had 2 yoga sessions, a lovely long walk in the bush by our house, started to enjoy and taste food again and have most of my pre- energy back, been able to read a few pages of my book, do some housework, gosh it makes you so grateful for the things that most take for granted, so looking forward to enjoying the next 6 days x 24 hours before getting zapped again on Thursday, but it will be the 3rd AC, so only 1 more to go!!Thanks all for getting me through

Was thinking of you tonight. Because I know you will keep going. Day 6. A day or 2 and you will feel a bit better again. You can do this, you are stronger than you believe. Kath x

Thanks to all of you, this has been a tough spell, I couldn’t explain it to hubby, but I felt like I wasn’t really alive, just hanging by a thread. Today has been better, 2 walks, ate dinner with family and did a bit of work, but feeling pooped again now. Hoping I wake up even better tomorrow. It’s got to be attacking my lump , that’s what I keep saying. I think this group is a life saver as you are all so giving and supportive. Tried to explain to 2 friends, today but they don’t get it!!!! One of them even said she hadn’t had much of a holiday.......over summer, after being away for a week and off camping next week for five days. Mmm - funny that I will just get on and get stuck into chemo....because that’s is so much fun!!!

@Spillsy, baby steps. You'll feel a little better each day. @Mrs_H is right - I found the hardest thing was to be feeling reasonably good the day of my chemo - very hard lining yourself up again when you know what you're in for. I had chemo 3 weekly on a Friday so every 3rd Thursday would go to our favourite Greek restaurant as my special treat before FUF ( f....ked up Friday) Xx

Something else that’s good and my phycologist suggested doing this - is so all that you can to be kind to yourself . Write a list of things that make you happy.for me I love being outside, so something as simple is having dinner outside with my family even when feeling crap makes Be feel a little normal and happy.xx

Second AC, don’t know if I can hack this

Sister
Member
8 years ago
Way to go, @Spillsy!!
Zoffiel
Member
8 years ago
Champion! It's so good to hear about people coping well, particularly when you are improving on the previous rounds. Half of it is knowing what to expect, once that uncertainty backs off a bit you can concentrate on the things that are OK. You are nearly there. Mxx
Spillsy
Member
8 years ago
So getting back to normal after round three AC, cant believe I have to go one more round of it.......I made it through the other side, taste buds are coming back, I have had three lovely long walks, a few catch up with friends and made it back to work today!!!!! Its such a good feeling to be back in the world!
Sister
Member
8 years ago
You're right @Spillsy No-one who hasn't been there could understand. But you're over the hump and you're getting there. What amazed me was how quickly I went from "might as well be dead" to "hey, this tastes good".
Mollygirl
Member
8 years ago
Hang in there @Spillsy, it's bloody hard lining yourself up each time when you know what you're in for. Thinking of you. Xx
Zoffiel
Member
8 years ago
That's the spirit, @Spillsy . You are getting the hang of it. Feel like shit, feel better. Rinse and repeat.
You are over halfway now, it's horrible but you are nearly there. Xxx
Spillsy
Member
8 years ago
Gosh thanks, this is such an experience, that no one else would understand.
had nearly 2 amazing weeks, where I could Taste food, and enjoy getting out with friends, even had a paddle in my kayak! Almost forgot I have cancer, ha ha, now in the 3rd AC, crappy days and hanging on by a thread again, can’t wait for the weekend to hopefully do some ‘ normal stuff’ again,
Spillsy
Member
8 years ago

melclarity said:

@spillsy Ive been reading the thread and thought Id pop in now and say what an amazing job you are doing. I think we are way too hard on ourselves. I didnt have AC but 4 FEC which is similar and called the (red devil) it was soul destroying on many levels and I was very ill hospitalised after each infusion for 3 days. Taxol was different after that. I just remember at 1 point looking at my wardrobe thinking what am I going to wear to my daughters Yr 12 Graduation at the time and I collapsed so ill on the floor in tears wondering...how am I going to get through this??? how??? So I want to say to you, you ABSOLUTELY WILL, you won't know how you did it but you will and be amazed at what an incredibly strong woman you are. Just be YOU...and lean on the ones that really support you..a great network here of so many understanding people who get it!!! You're on your way...and it will become a memory...believe it!!!! I am now just over 2yrs post chemo and life really is a long way from those moments of despair...YOU TOO will get there.. xx Melinda

@sister all the best, the 1st one is the hardest because of anxiety and fear, but you'll see that you are so supported by wonderful caring staff and you will too be OK!! xx
Giovanna_BCNA
Member
8 years ago
Hi @Spillsy,
Great to hear that you are starting to feel more human. It sounds really trite, but do try to take one day at a time. I agree with all our members, looking too far ahead can be quite overwhelming. Make the most of the days that you feel well and have lots of energy and know that it is ok to have days where you feel down and sad, its normal.
Spillsy
Member
8 years ago
Thanks again, it’s so lovely to hear your amazing, supportive replies, I am feeling really great at the moment, so getting out and about, seeing friends, watched my Sons soccer game, having a curry out tonight with the family, as my taste buds are back, yeah!!!!!!! Making hay while the sun shines... as they say!