Do I or don’t I ?

Hi @Grandma , although I am not a grandma yet, I am turning 66 middle of this year.  I am pleased you posted  your comment, as I have similar feelings.  Each year in January I have my yearly mammogram and ultrasound and at that time I have severe anxiety, and wonder if I should have just had a bilateral mastectomy when I was diagnosed end on 2016 (cancer in both breasts and in 2 lymph nodes).  Of course, I know this would not mean that the cancer could not return, but at least the mammograms and ultrasounds would have come to a close.  

I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that each January when I need to have my yearly reviews, I think I should have just had both breasts off in the first instance. 

I don't think you are nuts!  At times I think my breasts are just time bombs, and perhaps I should have had a bilateral mastectomy, so I certainly understand the dilemma you are going through.  A bilateral mastectomy wasn't necessary in my case, so I opted for the bilateral breast conserving surgery, as I was told that most "fare" better ":psychologically" without the ordeal of mastectomies.  

Whether we keep our breasts or not is the question! 

Some say we should follow our gut instincts, which I did, but , like you I now question my decision.

I first got bc at 36 my margins were very close and I was told I didn’t need a mastectomy but it was worth considering. I did and don’t regret it for a minute. I was able to get on with my life without constant fear. I had 10 good years before it became metastatic. I often wonder how quickly it would have come back if I had not had it removed. Good luck with what ever you decide 

Thank you for your reply - I really appreciate it 💕

Oh my goodness - thank you for responding and for being honest - I was feeling a little stupid having written this post - but you have helped me to feel my feelings are valid - tonight I’m going through - ugh why aren’t you celebrating ? I’m not down I’m just thinking ok - so buck up kid so you are ready for next year -
there are others doing it so much harder - but at the end of the day we do this journey on our own aren’t  we - so we need to do what works for each of us 

There isn't an easy solution, so I just kept mine as I didn't need to have unnecessary surgery.  @Hankster sums it up nicely and did what was best for her situation, but there are no guarantees either way.  

I totally relate to @"Grandma of 7"  and others and all your comments...I am in the same situation and when I talk to others who have had a bilateral mastectomy- I wish I had too as t the htought of BC popping up in the other one is ALWAYS there....
I am currently weighing up the decision to proceed with having the other one removed and grappling with the trauma of another operation ..it is such an individual decision and there is a lot to consider. Our ever reliable gut feelings though tend to guide us to the best decision...best of  luck everyone with what you decide...and if we consider all options put on the table by our specialists and our inner voice the right decision will come to us..
much love to all Patricia xx

In the end it has to be your decision.  I ended up with a mastectomy anyway but my question at the time was whether I should have both taken.  The answer then was that it wasn't needed.  Twelve months later my surgeon said that if I was really struggling with the anxiety, he was happy to take the other.  I haven't done it but know that I have that option without having to fight for it.  If it is what you feel you need to do and your surgeon won't consider it, best to find someone else.

By the way, do you have a 3D mammogram or a 2D?  3D gives more clarity.

Thank you Patricia and Sister - you have no idea how your honest words have supported me - I’ve always been the strong one - the fixer of issues - I can’t fix this .... but your words have buoyed me and given me support - I’m not alone and I’ve had responses from strong women who understand exactly what I’m going through - no judgements and for that I’m ever so grateful to all of you for taking a moment to respond - thank you 💝
I’m going ahead with the surgery - I’m at peace with my decision 

Hi there, I really believe it is critical to listen to your own inner voice and follow your gut feeling no matter what anyone thinks. You know yourself better than anyone and understand your own emotions and needs. Do what is the best for you. Good luck with your decision 

This is a very valid concern and very valid post about it. It’s a hard decision, but if you feel right about it, then you should do it. Peace of mind and being stress free is more important than anything else. It’s not about what others think and whether it’s silly. It’s about your body, and your physical and mental health, so there’s nothing silly about it. Good luck with it all 🍀♥️