update - I saw the surgeon Monday 29/3 and he offered me surgery on Wed 31/3 and I took him up on the offer. Those days before surgery I was often in tears - who in their right mind goes and has a bilateral mastectomy as a conscious decision and I found myself second guessing my decision but I put one foot in front of the other and kept going. Saw an amazing bra specialist on Tues who supportively answered all my crazy questions and I settled . My husband has been my rock and here I am back at home - relieved - happy - settled and have my two companion drains follow me around and now I move forward with life - there’s so much to be grateful for and so much of life to experience - bring it on ! I’m ready !
Thank you all so much for your supportive and honest words - you carried me through and now I hope I can pay this support forward to someone else that may be in a similar situation 💗