After effects of treatment

@fairydust My boob was never the same after radiation in 2011, the skin was very damaged and I was scarred under my armpit permanent burn. It was also harder than my right, I never worried, I just learnt to accept it, i think just glad I did what was recommended. 4years later a recurrence same spot...impossible really, didnt matter what I did in terms of diet/exercise none of it..the Professionals can't explain it. I did want to say that Chemo in 2015, so am now 19 months post and ONLY now am I the closest Ive been to the self I once was in terms of physicality. Its take so long, I'll never be back to where I was, but Im amazed how you absolutely do progress and recover, it just takes years!!! and a damn good Exercise Physiologist lol and Naturopath. xx I have a great diet/exercise...but I don't deny myself choc when I want it...life is for living...none of it affects the outcome, we are all living proof of that. :) xo Melinda

I think it would be good to know what's coming up before you get there, and have the chance to research, ask questions and prepare yourself. I changed my diet, joined an exercise program and spent hours at the library. Now I know the risks and pitfalls and feel more confident about the treatment, side effects, and the future.
If I hadn't done this I would have crawled into a corner with a big box of Lindt chocolates for the next 5 years and felt sorry for myself.
(oh Lindt chocolate! I miss you soooo much!)

We all feel battered and bruised and high maintenance medically, but the reality is our new normal is still evolving and we have an heightened awareness of our health as we don't want a repeat performance.  Some are unfortunate to be in that predicament but the rest of us are just what you called scared s...tless that we'll be in that roller coaster again. Yes we all know that we have to put it to one side, get back to normal (whatever that is) and the odds are such that it is not all that will find themselves in a repeat performance but geez ..............all the hidden extras, side effects, don't they drive you nutty! 

Zoffiel said:

I've got oedema in my left foob which developed a month after rads. I now spend an hour a week with a very chatty woman who massages my tit. FFS, when does enough become really enough--because I've just about had enough.

Politeness sometimes is hard to adhere to when you are at the end of your tether!

Take care and roll with it and remember we get it!

I know what you mean, @Brenda5 I  feel like a complete fraud sometimes. All the stupid things that get me all bothered and have me on the phone getting bumped up my GPs appointment list are things I would have completely ignored a couple of years ago. The rational is I can't afford to ignore anything that could escalate, but that list of risks is getting longer by the day.

TLC doesnt just apply to during treatment. I would say you need just as much care if not more after its all done. My doctor keeps telling me I have low immunity which is just plain annoying. It is really hard for me to take since before breast cancer, I never got sick, never went to hospital unless it was overnight having a baby and I took panadol so infrequently I thought you had to chew it, not swallow it whole. Now, an infected hair follicle can have me off to the docs for treatment. I just feel ridiculous sometimes.

I've got oedema in my left foob which developed a month after rads. I now spend an hour a week with a very chatty woman who massages my tit. FFS, when does enough become really enough--because I've just about had enough.

Hey @fairydust, I too had fluid in the breast but from my mastectomy and going to immediate implant. A pocket of it that felt like it was tidal, swishing around. Mine was just fluid that didn't drain. I had it checked to make sure it wasn't Lymphoedema. Nup. 12 months later my body has started to absorb it. My implant has softened unbelievably and pretty much feels like a normal breast with a bit less wobble (not such a bad thing for me :)). I think one of the hardest things is that even when you get used to the idea of a new normal, your body is still adapting and you end up with a sequence of new normals. I'm sure it will settle down eventually, but I think our expectations for ourselves can certainly be too high. Be gentle with you. Sending you a big hug. Xx Cath

@Molly001 thanks . My breast after radiation is alright(not painful) I was just taken aback that there was more to go.
 @Afraser thank you,you have captured exactly how I am feeling.
 Can good come from this experience? Of course it can. I am usually an optimist by nature.
On a lighter note was taken to the movies by my daughter and saw Wonder Woman. What a brilliant movie.Everyone has different tastes but I thoroughly enjoyed it. The movie of course had special effects but also a thought provoking script not quite what I expected. 
 

Lovely words @afraser.

One of the most frequent bits of advice on this site, particularly to those who are coming to terms with a new diagnosis, is to take one step at a time. It's practical because it's easy to be overwhelmed. It's also sensible because the prospect of still having "treatment" (not necessarily invasive or unpleasant) years later may be much too hard to grasp when you are feeling very vulnerable. It's not a conspiracy, more a benign disinclination to emphasise the harder parts of what may need to be done. Bit like childbirth! So it's normal at this stage to feel betwixt and between. Better but not well. Treated but not done. Bad bits over but not back to normal. 

So you start on working out the new normal, which is an important part of recovery (physical and mental). And you know how far you have come, so while doing more is a bit of a trial, you know you can do it. It's a long path, that's why you don't want to count how many steps you will need right at the start - a) you don't know and b) it's a hell of a lot more than you think you can manage.

And yet here you are, and you have done so much. So of course you can do a few more steps ......

It helps if other people also recognise the transition to the new normal and don't expect you to seamlessly resume normal service!! You need to retune all of you and it takes time. It may also take you somewhere good. Best wishes for the next stage, you can do it.