New to MBC. How to stay positive when every Onc meeting seems to bring less certainty?

Hi @odette and @Cath62
Thats a great list by @Cath62!
I am always intrigued when I hear about” new”  forms  of therapy - for example “ reading therapy” - all my family have been doing that for their whole lives!
I do like the idea of “ laughing therapy”
 Those of us who are a certain age ( I am 65) may remember readers digest - it had a regular column called “ laughter is the best medicine” - I do think a sense of humour helps with all of this.

Hi @odette, so sorry you joined the MBC club. Me too. I had BC in 2020 and diagnosed with MBC to bones in July 2023.

I found the first 6 months to be torture. So hard emotionally to deal with. But as others have said there are loads of treatments, more coming and many people live many many years now. I think we are living at the right time for new treatments and hope. 

It is uncertain and everything about this disease is that way, but so is life without MBC. Anything can happen to anyone at any time.

So how to stay positive....this is what I do.
# Firstly refuse to give up.
#Keep engaged with your medical team. #Know that there are so many treatments but step it through - one treatment at a time - even with chemo
#Don't get ahead of yourself. Living in the now is everything.
#Practice mindfulness and meditation. #Exercise, go for walks every day if you can. # Be with people who matter and ditch the rest.
#Make yourself the priority and don't take others stuff on. 
Eat well 
# Rest when you need to
# Accept help or ask for it
# Get counselling 
# join a support group if there are any in your area.
# try yoga or tai chi or laughing therapy 
# practice gratitude every single day. It really helps. I use an app called Delightful. It's free. 
# don't google things
# Otis retreats may help give you and your family a break 
# listen to Charlotte Tottenham podcasts 
# take up a new hobby or craft.

These are just a few ideas. You reached out here and that too is positive. Consider joining the mets group too. Best wishes to you. Sending love ❤️ 

I want to know how to stay positive as well as I just diagnosed breast cancer and the lump is big and still not know if it has spread out...very worry and want to just give up 

Dear Odette,
I'm not in the same position as you, as yet.
Unfortunately and fortunately for me I've known many women with BC at my workplace (a large hospital)
When I got BC, I had been 'well informed' of experiences.
A friend on my Ward, became Stage 4, in 2020.
She had a hip replacement, with a specialist Orthopod.
She has been doing very well since. A lovely lady, she always manages a smile.
She also gave me lots of advice on diagnosis (2020), and Reconstruction, and an insight to her world.
All the best for your Surgery and treatments to come, I hope all goes well and you respond well.

Hi @odette
A metastatic breast cancer diagnosis is no longer the certain death sentence it once was - there are many ladies who have lived many years in treatment for this disease and new treatments are being developed all the time.
It’s cliche but try and live one day at a time , savour the good times and always have something to look forward to.
Consider joining the” Living with metastatic breast cancer” private group on here for more targeted advice and support.
Take care 🌺

Sorry to see you join our select little group, @odette.  That is really bad luck, having the recurrence from 10 years ago  :(  xx

All the best with your treatment plans odette ..... we have members who are 10+ years into their Stage 4/Mets journey ..... A girlfriend in Qld had her Mets located in her hip - she had the hip replacement surgery & is pretty well back doing whatever she likes now - traveling the countryside in her caravan, making & selling her handmade Sterling Silver jewellery ..... She had radiation but not the chemo - and from memory is on Letrozole.   She makes all sorts of art & craft stuff and loves going hunting for opal (anywhere) or gems up in Northern Qld.

I wonder if any of the newer Immunotherapy drugs may be thrown in the ring for your treatment?  Some with Stage 4 have even been trialled on Keytruda (immunotherapy usually used for Long Cancer & Melanoma - but having a good effect on some forms of BC as well!). It could be worth mentioning to your Onc.

Try & keep as busy as you are able whilst you are waiting for your treatment/surgery ..... maybe cook up & freeze some meals in readiness, so you have stuff when you get home xx. 

You may like to join the Young Women's group - with your kids ..... various organisations (like Canteen and Red Kite and Camp Quality) where they give kids a chance to be kids & have fun with other kids who's parent may have cancer.  Your hospital Social Worker should be able to point you to local organisations who may be able to help too.

take care, take one day at a time ... try not to get too far ahead of yourself re the treatment & side effects - all going well, you won't have any xx

This is not at all what you want, but humour and tenacity are good allies in your strategy! I don’t know how long your chemo treatment might be but can only encourage you to be as optimistic as possible about seeing it through.

Have you had chemo before? If so, you may have similar reactions so can be prepared. If not, while nausea and fatigue are common side effects, some (like me) don’t get them at all. Hair loss is also common - personally, I went the wig road, good quality synthetic, light, easy to look after, helped to feel ‘normal’. 

Others will be better placed to advise on dealing with diagnosis and treatment with children. Their capacity to accept and assist, in appropriate ways for their age,  is important in the wellbeing of you all.

Best wishes.