New to MBC. How to stay positive when every Onc meeting seems to bring less certainty?

@GorgyS, love this story and needed it today. I have bone mets so MBC and previously had 4 melanoma. Today I had 4 biopsies for suspected melanomas again.  So uncertainty again as I ready myself for another MBC treatment tomorrow. 

Last week, I went for a PET scan. Of course, I was very nervous until a lovely lady over 70 years old walked into the waiting room and told the receptionist, 'Guess what, I do not have breast cancer anymore. It is in my bones now.' She laughed, and she did not stop talking and joking for the two hours we were both in there. She really made me less nervous. And I love all your 'strategies' to stay positive too. 

Thank you @Cath62. I loved your list and the advice.  Thank you to all who have respond.  Xxx

Dear joanne213,
I think your comment is mixed in with Odette's question on Metastasis BC.
Have you been given a Stage of BC ?
You may be told that after your surgery.
Afraser has given good advice above.
Try not to panic before you know the whole story. 
Even if you have it in the Lymph nodes, that is not Stage 4.
That is only after it has spread to other organs.
The pain you have described, could also come from stress. Which is very understandable.
The tests you have been ordered are fairly routine.
To determine if it has or has not spread.
Most of us have had these extra screening tests.
I hope that you get good news, ie no spread.
All the best.

A good experienced nurse should be able to use a very fine needle. You may want to consider a port - a vein entry point that gets put in place once and is used for blood tests, infusions, whatever. A good nurse or your oncologist can advise. While all the tests are a bit of a whirl, most people feel better just to be doing something!! While it’s important to have faith in your team, don’t hesitate to ask questions or tell them if something is concerning you. Good communication helps a lot. Best wishes for next week. 

@Afraser.. thank you so much for your support, I just finished MRI today and will have CT, Bone n PET scan next week, hope the injection is not gonna hurt as I got very fine vain n most nurses can't deal with it properly, so even need to use baby needle on me

@Joanne213

Google is simply brilliant at connecting you with scary symptoms - which in all
probability you don’t actually have. Those of us a bit further down the track know the extraordinary range of twinges, pains, odd sensations etc that manifest before an important test. Or any time when you are feeling stressed. Anxiety likes to make itself felt! We get used to these ‘ghosts’ and when we do, they usually vanish. Tell your oncologist by all means but give up googling. If it worked, we would have no need of surgeons and oncologists. My early mucking around on Google indicated unquestionably that I had inflammatory breast cancer - I didn’t. The waiting is hard to do but Google is not your friend. Even if lymph nodes were enlarged, it doesn’t necessarily mean malignancy. I had a lot of very enlarged nodes, and all but one were simply ‘irritated’ by the nearby tumour - no malignancy at all. Chemo will also mop up any cancer prone cells, even at extremely early stages. Eleven years on and so far I am well, no recurrence. Take heart, this is winnable! Best wishes. 

@Cindi, thanks for your encouragement. my lump size is big so specialist requested chemo before surgery. I feel so scared and also I still have many scans to do, just finished the MRI today, still have CT, Bone n PET scans...they all sound scary... 

Specialist feel my lymph yesterday and think they are normal, my ultrasound shows no enlargement of lymph, but I started to feel pain in the breast n also some minor neck and shoulder pain...so scared that it has spread and I googled the symptoms...looks like I have them all...

Hi @odette, I want to send you good wishes and hope it turns out well for you, a lot of good advice here.

and @joanne213 don't give up, I know it's scary but it may NOT have spread, it's hard waiting I know but are you having a lumpectomy soon? They will probably take some Lymph nodes and that way you will know more. I had 3 large tumors removed as well as lymph nodes and luckily the nodes were clear. Even if it is in a lymph node it's NOT a death sentence, many women on here have this diagnosis and get through ok.
 So try to not worry too much, and the advice from @ cath62 is very helpful.
xx

AWESOME list there, @Cath62 ..... for ALL OF US!  

I LOVED Readers Digest & Laughter, the Best Medicine, @Julez1958 - it was well read by the time all 8 of us in the house had read it.  It was a monthly ritual!  And also the funny quips at the end of most stories, to 'fill in the gap' ....  I actually found a 2nd hand book containing ALL the funnies from RD at that date .... it was SO good!  I probably still have it somewhere!

I hope you are going OK @odette xx. If you are feeling anxious or sad, please consider Ringing the Helpline on 1800500258 (Mon-Fri) if you'd like to chat xx