New to MBC. How to stay positive when every Onc meeting seems to bring less certainty?

@Cindi, thanks for your encouragement. my lump size is big so specialist requested chemo before surgery. I feel so scared and also I still have many scans to do, just finished the MRI today, still have CT, Bone n PET scans...they all sound scary... 

Specialist feel my lymph yesterday and think they are normal, my ultrasound shows no enlargement of lymph, but I started to feel pain in the breast n also some minor neck and shoulder pain...so scared that it has spread and I googled the symptoms...looks like I have them all...