Yet another new girl

Hello Holly.  So sorry that you had to join us but we are all here for you.  Not sure if someone has answered you on one question yet, but I can say that yes, you do feel like living someone elses life, and that feeling is normal.  I too felt like I was in this bubble and my husband and kids were living life as we knew it, but mine was paused.  I felt completely detatched and alone.  I was diagnosed at 39 with the same aggresive cancer as you and my gene test results were only done after my treatment had ended this year.  It has just come back positve for BRCA2 and I also had no family history (that I knew of) but got tested due to my young age at diagnosis and aggresiveness of my cancer.  In hind sight I would've wanted to know my gene test results before my initial surgery because I now have to go back for a 2nd mastectomy of the remaining healthy breast as well as hysterctomy.  It is a bummer that they didn't just test me before hand because they could have then taken both at the same time.  I take my hat off to you for dealing with it all while your difficult circumstances must have made it really challenging.  Hang in there girlfriend, you have plenty of support and realness here!

Virtual hugs x