What do I do now?

Thank you both so very much - so much helpful and sage advice in two messages, eye-opening, I really appreciate it. I had counselling when I first moved here as I was struggling with the criticism, which seems to have anger attached to it, refusing to believe I had breast cancer until she saw me being wheeled out of surgery, and then the floodgates opened, which surprised me.  

'Feeling a bit adrift' describes it well, but its nice to hear also that I can give myself time to make decisions about what to do next, also considering my financial situation. I will make a phone call. xxx