What do I do now?
Hi everyone, I havent posted for a while as I was going through radiation, after my surgery, which is now completed and I did okay, just treating the leftover burns and itchiness which is apparently n...
Forum Discussion
Hi @bettyboo
Depression following cancer is really common; the degree varies and only you can tell if it's sufficiently serious to require intervention. You are not on your own--dozens of us go through exactly the same feelings of being adrift and disrupted. Cancer treatment is physically hard, but carrying the mental burden can be even harder. The whole business is so draining that refocussing and rebuilding can feel like an insurmountable task; I've found that time does make a difference if only because there is a slow return of energy.
Counselling can help, but it doesn't change your overall circumstances, it's more an opportunity to vocalize your feelings and figure out some coping strategies. The last thing that most of us want are more appointments, more drugs and more people poking and prying but your mind is every bit as important as your body so it pays to look after it and get the level of care that is appropriate for your personal needs.
Being on your own does add and extra dimension of difficulties when you have to look after yourself, but it also provides opportunities. You have a higher degree of autonomy, you can make decisions that suit you without consultation or compromise. I get the relief of being free from criticism, you can love someone but still find them very challenging.
If you think the retirement home is a viable option (and you can take your pets) you should certainly give the idea some serious thought. 67 is not old, but it makes sense to consider your future and how you will deal with the aging process. Being lonely is not good; most people want to feel like they are part of a group and support network. If you think the retirement home will provide that, it's yet another 'pro'. Personally, I'm far too grumpy for any form of communal living, but the reality is if I live long enough it's unlikely I will be able to avoid it.
While you are looking at that option, please pay a great deal of attention to the financial aspects. Living there may be affordable now, but sometimes there are heavy penalties if you need to move into higher care later on.
Be kind to yourself, Silka, this is a tough time of your life and while I understand you want your life to change, try to give yourself time to make decisions. Mxx