We all have what I call factory settings. They are the default when we are challenged, excited, confused etc.
Age and experience gives us an insight into how we are likely to behave in a variety of situations. It's possible to mitigate your response while still recognising what your natural inclination or previous history is.
Breathe. Don't grieve in anticipation. Know yourself and realise that while you have no control over your circumstances, you do have some agency over what you do. Mxx