Forum Discussion
Unspoken thoughts
Questions and statements said to me and my thoughts in brackets after. I know I should probably just say them but my father in law died from cancer less than a year ago and family members are still hurting so I answer questions accordingly (not to how I think).
You're so strong (if only you knew)
I don't know how you do it (I didn't know I had a choice)
You're an inspiration (what? You want cancer too?)
I love how you can smile (it is a grimace)
How has your week been (where do I start)
How did the treatment go this week (fine if you like needles, nausea and headaches)
How much longer (lifetime)
What happens next (I smack you in the head)
You look really well (uh huh, right)
How are the side effects (thriving)
You look a bit tired today (really? I wonder why)
32 Replies
- That's what has occurred to me @zoffiel ...I must have looked awful.
- I think the visions of people undergoing cancer treatment 40 years ago still linger. It's bad enough now, but it must have been fucking awful before the antiemetics a were sorted out during chemo and when radiotherapy fried you, literally, to the bone. Early surgery for breast cancer saw women filleted like fish. Horrible.
So yes, we usually fair better, and look better, than the winners of the boobie prize in the 60s and 70s. As long as it doesn't kill us.
The irony is that if we look well while all this shit is happening, we must have looked terrible beforehand :) - I find it really difficult to know how to respond to the 'you're amazing, 'you're an inspiration' comments. On one hand, it's nice. You're being paid a compliment of sorts I suppose. It suggests admiration and it's nice to be admired. On the other hand, it's not like you really have a choice, is it...
To a certain degree my circumstances imply a choice (raising my deceased (from BC) sister's children), but the people who'd refuse this job would be few and far between. It's what you do for family.
Having now gone through BC myself, thinking about how I'd express these feelings, I'd probably go with something like, 'I really admire how you're handling it' rather than 'you're amazing' etc. - Actually @Uffy the inspiration statement gets me the most. Not sure how to reply to that one without being rude so I just smile.
- @Blossom1961, I love this; so true. I'm sick of being told how good I look, how brave I am, I'm an inspiration. A friend said she saw me walking my dog and thought how good I was going. I was actually limping in pain from my sacrum and nobody else will walk the poor dog.
- Don't you just love the hyperbole? A well known politician is having chemotherapy at the moment. He is in the "fight of his life"!!!
- That is SO funny, @Blondy!
- As my hair was growing back I wrapped a thin scarf around my head like a headband and my customer said to me that I looked like a real slapper. I choked laughing, she meant flapper but I didn't have the heart to tell her .... or on second thoughts, maybe she meant slapper
- It's probably all the dead skin cells sloughing off!
