@LisaJHM Your trauma and response is personal to you but if it makes you feel any better, it's not uncommon to fall apart at this stage of treatment. I certainly did and it did not surprise my medical team. I think it's low resilience, realisation that the slog of active treatment is coming to an end and maybe the time when you lift your head and realise that all the s&%t that was happening before diagnosis is still there and quite possibly worse. And you have no reserves left. Try to find a counsellor or psychologist if you can, accept that it might be necessary to try anti-depressants (I couldn't cope with them but most people seem to manage well) and take it a step at a time.
