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Have just joined on advice to connect with others, by psychologist. Have had double mastectomy (Mucinous type)and diep flap rebuild Feb 2020 and on AIs now. Have been v emotional and needed coping sk...
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Hi @bell59 Its reassuring to know you have a psychologist sensible enough to suggest a support group like this. I've had mixed results with them over the years--most of them have seemed even pottier than I am, which is saying something. A good one is like finding a gold nugget in a bucket of manure. They can give us some excellent advice and coping mechanisms, but ultimately it's up to us to figure out a way to hold the whole show together. That takes practice, patience and, ultimately, time.
I've got no patience and worry constantly about the time factor, so I'm stuck with practicing. Which sometimes feels like pretending and, of course, has the effect of convincing those around me that I am doing just fine.
Half the battle is realising that we don't suddenly 'get better.' BC is not something that just magically goes away. The best result is a long life disease free--why else would we go through the slicing, dicing, poisoning, frying and pill swallowing business if it wasn't for the hope it would work? Regardless of what treatment you've gone through, the long term reality is often a variety of lingering issues of varying significance. Recognising the 'varying significance' bit is important for me, as I simply don't have the mental energy to sweat the small stuff. And it's up to me to decide what is small and what is not. I get really, really shitty when someone else thinks they can reorganise my list of things I should give a fuck about.
Physical recovery is often easier than shutting down the noise in our heads. Like tinnitus that noise seems much louder in the middle of the night, but if I stop and listen, I can hear it at any time of day. Sometimes that noise can sound like a demonic orchestra warming up in an echo chamber. Foghorns howling warnings which seem to be inviting a shipwreck 'AAARROOOOGGGAHHHH' repeating in the darkness. Other times is like the hissing that reminds me that I've forgotten to turn a sprinkler off--only audible after I've gone to bed.
Hang in there, maybe try to view it all as a very interesting experience and know that you are not alone. MXX
I've got no patience and worry constantly about the time factor, so I'm stuck with practicing. Which sometimes feels like pretending and, of course, has the effect of convincing those around me that I am doing just fine.
Half the battle is realising that we don't suddenly 'get better.' BC is not something that just magically goes away. The best result is a long life disease free--why else would we go through the slicing, dicing, poisoning, frying and pill swallowing business if it wasn't for the hope it would work? Regardless of what treatment you've gone through, the long term reality is often a variety of lingering issues of varying significance. Recognising the 'varying significance' bit is important for me, as I simply don't have the mental energy to sweat the small stuff. And it's up to me to decide what is small and what is not. I get really, really shitty when someone else thinks they can reorganise my list of things I should give a fuck about.
Physical recovery is often easier than shutting down the noise in our heads. Like tinnitus that noise seems much louder in the middle of the night, but if I stop and listen, I can hear it at any time of day. Sometimes that noise can sound like a demonic orchestra warming up in an echo chamber. Foghorns howling warnings which seem to be inviting a shipwreck 'AAARROOOOGGGAHHHH' repeating in the darkness. Other times is like the hissing that reminds me that I've forgotten to turn a sprinkler off--only audible after I've gone to bed.
Hang in there, maybe try to view it all as a very interesting experience and know that you are not alone. MXX