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Hi there @bell59. I went through the mill in 2016 and 2017 and came out breast free and somewhat buggered and bent. My husband of 41 years is a full on Aspie as is my daughter and her partner, so I totally "get" the difficulties there. I had a detailed discussion with my Bearded One about the difference between trans...port and sup...port. He thought that his support started and ended with schlepping me backwards and forwards to medical appointments. I pointed out that I could call a cab for that and had to walk him, step by step what the support was that I needed. He still finds it strange that I'm not asking him to fix anything, I just want him to listen, and if necessary provide tea and hugs. The fear which you mention is also very real. Before cancer, if I got a headache...well I had a headache. Now the evil cosmic clowns whisper in my ear..."maybe its baaaack". Ditto tummy discomfort...absolutely not plain old tummy gripes...most definitely cancer...probably in the liver. Any back strain is quite obviously mets in the spine....I get it. I find keeping my hands busy helps. I'm a knitting addict and find the repeating knit this purl that very soothing. My mind cannot go walkabout if it is busy counting and following a pattern. Finding a hobby or an activity keeps the heebie jeebies at bay for most, perhaps it will help you too. Big hug...Ally.