Is that right? Did you really say that?

@Flaneuse You are doing so well to keep slogging through this marathon Fran. Hang in there and soon it'll be receding in the rearview mirror and it will be au revoir to that. And I'm planning to come to Brisbane next year to drink some vin avec toi (I'm presuming the familiarity and not using vous!) and @onemargie so if nothing else you can look forward to that. Or dread it and dodge me with fury at that presumptuous Victorian! K xox

@kmakm That's interesting. Several close friends have said the same to me, and I accepted it because I've thought myself that the skin on my face has looked ok even when I feel like shite. I've always been told I have good natural colouring in my complexion (apart from the cancer bits I've had chopped out a few times!), and I do continue to look after my facial skin. The person who pissed me off with her comment just sounded so accusatory; odd how people can't offer a compliment or some encouragement without putting a negative edge on it. But as I say, super-sensitive at the moment.

@Flaneuse When both my sister and I had chemo it made us sort of glow. People kept telling me how well I looked, and I remember my sister saying the same thing. So odd.

I tell them it's really good makeup. 

Isn't it odd how when we're feeling vulnerable we're so sensitive to the weird things people say and how they're said? Someone just said to me, "You know, you don't look like someone who has cancer. I've seen a lot of people with cancer and they're pale and you don't look like that." What was I expected to say? Do you think I'm faking? Did they chop off a breast and give me chemo for no reason?

I did discuss her comments with another bc sister here. We both agreed that people have no idea what a ride breast cancer diagnosis and treatment brings. I think talking about it helps others understand how hard that journey is. I guess they just see the pink buns and think...breast off all done. We know that emotionally and physically the recovery is life long. I don't dwell on the comment but at the time I was actually speechless at the comment and felt it was dismissive of the diagnosis and treatment. However life is to short to spend anymore time on it. And I wouldn't be thinking of her as a friend I would call on when in need. 

@Sister @primek Sometimes I doubt that I'll ever have that "free abandon" again. But you ladies give me heart that more fun might some day be possible. When a friend asked me how I was last week, I said, "Some days are ok. Some are not too bad at all." She said in surprise, "Oh, so you're still up and down?" I'm not even 3/4 of the way through chemo! I know that unless anyone has been through it, or lived in a household with someone who has, they can't really understand. And it's frustrating that along with their lack of understanding comes kindness of a sort. She brought me a gift of expensive tea, with the advice, "Drink this instead of wine". I've not been drinking wine for months because it keeps me awake, and because it doesn't taste the same any more. Admittedly, she knew that pre-bc I used to have a couple of glasses a day. 

...with friends like that ...?  On one hand, it is amazing that you are doing something for you (as is your husband) that wouldn't have been possible a couple of years ago.  On the other, it doesn't mean that it can be done with the same free abandon of pre-bc.

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