Having one of those days or 2.........

Hi @EarthWalkerLisha, yes I am in the middle of treatment, chemo at least is nearing closure, however then radiation will most likely start & I hope it's more easy on the mind then chemo & can somewhat go back to a normal routine, especially work. At night I do listen to smiling minds for stress and deep breathing. I try too help around the house, helping mum etc & my nieces come over Monday & Tuesday so they are a great distraction. When I first started chemo I didn't know obviously what to expect or what should I be doing. I laid in my room, in my pj's watching TV etc for the first week, but ended up changing to the couch lol as I didn't want to feel like a patient, but I started getting bored & wanted to feel better about myself & try to feel some normality! Especially getting out the house, with everyone being very cautious first time I didn't go out the house. I ended up going stir crazy! But now it's so different..... 

That is a good idea, colouring in, those adult books I have seen them. I may go get myself some.

Before this all happened I exercised everyday twice a day, morning and night, really into my fitness & I haven't done any exercise yet

It's a hard thing to do - ideally you want to think everything through so you can get some perspective and clarity, but at the same time not get anxious about cancer, treatment, disruption to your plans and life. It's virtually impossible. All you can do is bits at a time. When you feel anxious, do something as pleasant as possible or as mind occupying as possible. Writing things down I found really helpful, and deep breathing is really good. So is sitting and actively, consciously thinking about nothing. Good practice to stop your mind running away with you. When you feel better, make plans for tomorrow. Not next week, just tomorrow. One day at a time. Half the time we can get anxious about things that never happen. This is still your life, it's not really on hold, it's just taken a turn you hadn't planned. Some of it will not be great, but some if it may be more interesting or revealing than you might imagine. Best wishes.

@MelissaD I just read through your other posts.  You are going through a tough time at the moment and it is hard work.  I also found after each chemo session, about a week or so after that it was really hard work to get myself out of the darkness and anxiety that I felt.  I think I just kept telling myself that I could do this.  I can get up and get out of the house and it may help me to feel better.  Chem really knocked me about physically, I felt really sick, nauseas, head achy, slow, tired, woozy in the head.  I didn't have to go to hospital with a temperature though, small mercies.  However everyone has a struggle and anxiety is right on top of the list.  You are not alone in feeling anxious about your situation, your pain, your life being put on hold and your future.  Everything knocks the stuffing out of you.

It sounds like you've got some good support from your parents, that's great.  Take each day as it comes, if it helps take each minute as it comes and reward yourself for getting through what you already have gotten through. Cancer is a scary, anxiety producing thing. You and your doctors are doing everything you need to be doing to get through this treatment and beyond.  Journaling sounds like a great idea. Write out those anxious thoughts.  They aren't silly, they are what you are going through.  The thing is to work out what works best for you to manage that anxiety and those thoughts that keep going through your head. Do you like to draw or paint or colour in?  I've found art to be a wonderful therapy for myself through this cancer adventure of mine.  Art, writing, drawing, craft anything to help you heal is great to try when you're up to it.

Lishaxx

Hey @MelissaD you have every right to be feeling anxious and overthinking everything.  It sounds like you're in the middle of treatment so your body and your mind are still coming to grips with this new reality that you've been bombarded with.  Breast Cancer, all that it comes with, does to you and takes away from you. It's very normal for your mind to go racing ahead about anything. Your mind and body are under stress. It's good that you recognise how and what you're feeling.  I think it's very important to be kind to yourself and work on some techniques to help you through those anxious times. I've lived with anxiety and have worked out ways to get me through those anxious days.  What helps you when you're having anxious days?  I know I tend to clean the bathrooms with my anxious energy.  Other times I find just deep slow breathing helps.  I've also done colouring in, I even dedicated a day to colouring in, it keeps you busy and allows your mind to process through everything on it's own.  Getting out in nature or a walk around the block to get some fresh air helps me.

What kind of things do you find you do when anxiety strikes?

Good luck with your final two chemo sessions.  The end is in sight.
Lisha xx  

everything is so heightened. I wrote down some mindfulness thoughts today to read over everyday if I start to feel anxious, I hope that it does help. I'm not afraid to say how I feel or talk about it, I feel talking about it and always seeking support and reassurance helps me.  But in my own head I am alone with my thoughts so I have started to write them down. I don't know why I'm scared, I've already gone through 2 sessions of chemo and know what it is like. Does anyone else feel lost at times? My life has been put on hold temporarily and I think losing my routine everyday has a lot to do with it, more time to think and then I start to worry. I always have someone around me, my mum and dad have been my rock & im lucky to be still living at home at the moment. I might think too far into the future, worry about that I won't be able to move on and think how do people do this, especially ones that are alone - they must be so strong. Am I not giving myself any credit so far and stupid for worrying about silly things? I guess we all wish we didn't need to go through this crap & of course we don't ask this to happen. I know some are worse off than others and honestly couldn't be more grateful for the best outcome. I say to myself everyday, Mel you got cleared of cancer it's removed from your body, the 1cm evil lump isn't there anymore and embrace the treatment as your friend as this is going to make sure it never comes back again, which the Doctors have said there is a very high chance it won't due to my type of treatment. But always easy to say this and hear everyone say it and not to still be anxious..... I don't know if I am just being a whinger lol but just been a crap few days and trying to shake off this nervousness of mine X