Friends

Thanks for the help ladies xx
Really appreciated xx

@youngdogmum I'm with you there, anyone of my friends that weren't there when I needed them for a change I no longer have contact with, the ones that are important to me are still in my life no matter what

@youngdogmum I'm sorry to say it but I agree with you. However I don't believe it has to be angst ridden. Mentally thank them for the good times, and let them go with ease. They weren't up for the bad times, it's just the way they are. You have been forged in a hotter fire than them and they have nothing to contribute to your life anymore.

I am very fond of the Maya Angelou quote:

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

Big hug lovely, K xox

@youngdogmum - in time friends come and go! 
Some friends are good times only, they don't have the emotional capacity to cope with their own ups and downs, let alone someone else's
The ones you least expect are sometimes the ones that provide support, emotionally and or practically
My dear friend of 40 years, that I mentioned earlier, was always centre of attention and down most of the time and it was me that would lift her, because I wanted to see her in a better place, however, there was no return favour when I needed it, hence she is part of a season that is over

Take care 

I've had has a really difficult time with friends this year. I'm of the belief if they weren't there for me these past six months I don't want them in my life anymore.

One of the very few good things about cancer is that it does redefine what you consider to be a problem. I’ve just been through a work issue that eight years ago would have had me an agitated mess. Instead I just (relatively quietly) pointed out the stupidity, the easy way to fix it and the hard way to fix it and it’s fixed. It’s a lousy way to learn that lesson but take the good where you can get it. When other people’s trivial ‘disasters’ annoy, just quietly drift out of the conversation. 

I kind of took pleasure in other people's trivial stuff while I was doing treatment.  I felt like my stuff was so big that it was really hard to talk about, and I'd get to feeling like it was all I ever talked about, so I'd encourage them to talk about the silly things.  Anything to take the focus off my bs situation.

@Mic80 when  I'm trying to be nice to someone who is noodling on about trivial shit I plaster a fake smile on my face and mentally endure about 8 bars of The Proclaimers 500 Miles. I bloody hate that song so much, but it distracts me for long enough that I appear sympathetic.
If I'm not trying to be nice, I tell them I've got gut problems and go and hide in the nearest loo.

I've posted this before, but it's still relevant.

Very normal @Mic80,

I returned to work after my first chemo and remember hearing conversations about wrong coffees, what dress to where to the party, where to go for Friday drinks etc etc.  It really bothered me at the beginning and I was thinking to myself how trivial and pathetic that was.  It gets better and it won't bother you for ever.  I must say though my sympathy level is next to nil these days. My hubby had to have an MRI on his shoulder, got all claustrophobic and bailed out in the middle of it.  My response "Don't be a sook and get the hell back in there, at least you haven't got your boobs dangling through the machine!"  Oops, I do have to watch myself sometimes.
All the best lovely.