Forum Discussion
Kiwi_Angel
8 years agoMember
Feeling Down
I have been feeling quite sad the last couple of days. I don’t know if it is cause the whole BC experience this year has hit me or it’s this time last week we were supposed to go on our holiday and we got delayed a day and had to cut it short - silly I know but I had been so looking forward to it and I don’t seem to take disappointment as well at the moment. I have so many fun things to look forward to - it’s our wedding anniversary on Monday so we are going out for a fancy lunch on Saturday, have a fun overnight planned for hubbys Birthday next month, he is taking me to Canberra for the weekend for my birthday in September and I have a couple of weeks off in October. Just feel over the last couple of days like I have lost the joy in life. I used to be a full time smoker but for the last several years I have been casual but the last week all I feel like doing is smoking and drinking on the weekends (silly I know after what I have been through). The worst thing is apart from sore muscles and hot flushes I almost feel like my old self again. There could be some apprehension about starting the tamoxifen tablets on Monday and how they are going to affect me. I find it really tough when I feel like this (last happened when I lost my mother and then my father) as I’m such a strong person that likes to pride myself on “sucking it up and getting through it”, which I have done going through BC all this year. I know this can be a normal feeling and a lot of u are going through the same thing. I have got a mental health plan from my doctor so might be time to make an appointment t with the shrink. I know I will get through this but just thought I might feel better to put it out there.
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50 Replies
- Kiwi_AngelMemberThanks everyone for your kind words the other day. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and he was very supportive when he found out I had been feeling down. Feeling more positive again this week but will still be enquiring about booking a few sessions with a shrink.Sign in to react to this post
- Kiwi_AngelMember@Flaneuse - wonder if the winter blues have a hand in it too.
@kmakm your poor ankles ask your onc if u can take or get a script for something stronger.
@"Annie C" big virtual hugs to you. I don’t bake much as I’m crap at it. I’m more of a cook - currently have a big pot of veggie stock simmering and will make a pumpkin soup too.
@Finch not u too chemo buddy - big hugs to you.
I think we we are all allowed to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes in here - we have all been through the wringer physically and emotionally- big hugs to you all xoxxoSign in to react to this post - kmakmMember@Flaneuse No, not as yet. From what I gather here, osteo-paracetemol is the only thing. I've taken some tonight. Sometimes it takes the edge off, and at others it barely makes a difference. It's been just over a month I've been taking the AI; time to shoot off an email to my oncologist.Sign in to react to this post
- FinchMemberChemo buddy - I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I bet it was your flight cancellation that started it off. I'm up and down and all over the shop. I started getting teary behind my goggles on the radiation table today . I was feeling sorry for myself after seeing the radiation oncologist.
Sounds like you have a nice weekend coming up and a wonderful husband to share it with . Hang in there . You've been through an awful lot this year and still digesting all of it. Sending you special hugs . Take care xxxxSign in to react to this post - Annie_CMember@Zoffiel
My husband, who is a wood freak, took one look at your trailer load and began to plan how to get his truck, chainsaws and woodmill over your way. Reckons it would be worth the trip from the Kimberley. Only he would not dream of burning the timber but turn it on his wood turning lathe. You should see the beautiful bowls he turns. I swear there is not a tree that is safe in Derby. I have even lost limbs off my poincianas!
@Kiwi Angel I am having a hard time at the moment. It's exactly 12 months to when I received my diagnosis. The day, date, time and the waiting room is etched forever in my memory.
We had to cancell a holiday to New Zealand as it came smack bang in the middle of treatment. The money saved for that trip was used to fund our stay in Perth (2,300 km from home) during treatment. All gone now.
I did sewing jobs for 1 shop in town and made (please don't laugh) coffin pillows for the town's funeral business. I used to joke that the pillows were the best there is as my head was going to be on one of these one day! F**k that was a bit close to home. The earnings supplemented our pensions. Lost those 2 sewing contracts.
Anyway @"Kiwi Angel" when I am really down I bake. @onemargie's brownies recipie was tried out today (minus the baileys but with the cream). Yum, no wonder the rear is spreading. One was not enough!
@steplightly I have found journalling helpful. I have now filled 2 in a year. I love writing. Any writing. Thoughts on cancer, little sayings that have grabbed my attention, words of inspiration and just day to day thoughts and emotions. The journals could never be published. Too many poisonous mentions of people who have pissed me off!
Take care all and hang in there.Sign in to react to this post - FlaneuseMemberYikes, Kate. That sounds ghastly. Have you been prescribed any pain-killers for that?Sign in to react to this post
- kmakmMemberI think there's a virtual splitter working on my ankles at the moment, such is the pain...Sign in to react to this post
- FlaneuseMember@Zoffiel - thanks so much for the vicarious splitting! Shall join in from here, do quite a lot of the swearing, and then have a nap for you.Sign in to react to this post
- ZoffielMemberI'm doing the splitting tmoz, @Flaneuse. I can channel random fury for you if you like. Let's say between 10 and 11 am? There will be banging, grinding noises, swearing, dust and all the violence a 40 tonne splitter can deliver. Grab earmuffs and a pair of safety glasses, pretend you are here and cheer as the ram cleaves your adversary into bits. I will be totally rooted by noon but will still have to clean up; you can have a nap for me about that time, if you wouldn't mindSign in to react to this post
- FlaneuseMember@Zoffiel Oh for a chainsaw today! Don't know what I would attack first, but something would fall!
@"Kiwi Angel" We do far too much "sucking it up". I think there's something in the air this week. Lots of misery around. We all need virtual hugs.Sign in to react to this post