Feeling Down

@Zoffiel  Never!  

@arpie thanks for your kind words - it’s good too raise things here and all the guys and girls know what it’s like. I definitely think the trigger was the stuff up last week. Haven’t had time to feel too sad as has been a whirlwind of surgery and treatment and now it’s all really done (hopefully forever) apart from the tablets which I think leaves u feeling so “what now”?  Planning on picking myself up and having the best weekend. 

I am SO sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it just now, @"Kiwi Angel"  - none of us know just 'when it will hit' - but we can be pretty confident that sometime or another - it WILL hit.   Absolutely no-one is immune. And definitely totally normal!!

You've had a helluva lot on your plate - so, a the end of the chemo, this is the 'relief valve' .... otherwise we would explode!  :(   Try not to get too anxious about the Tamoxifen - not everyone gets all the symptoms!  Fingers crossed you sail thru it!!  xx   BIG hugs coming your way from Forster xxxx

It's terrific that you were able to raise it here & get all the love & support that only those who've gone thru it can give.  

What a bugger that your Holiday dates were changed - that was the button, I reckon!   It sounds like hubby has sorted your weekend out nicely tho, so enjoy the celebrations & enjoy being pampered!

We are all very good at 'getting on with it' and pretending that everything is OK with ourselves, but deep down, I think we know that there is this 'black dog' that can jump out & scare the shit out of us at any time.  The good thing is - that it is a temporary situation & by talking about it with family & friends - we will get thru it.

One of  my uke buddies came back after 3 weeks away yesterday & asked me how I was going with my tablets - and I got all teary!!   I've been fine with it all up til now ..... ya never know when it will hit!  :(  

Yep, the surgery & initial treatment may be over - but we're not over it .... yet. That will come, hopefully with time.

I've also become pretty antisocial - I can't be bothered inviting friends over for dinner (mind you - that's been coming on over the last few years!  LOL)  I'd rather pay for us all to go out for dinner!  Less stress!  Hubby, being quite deaf (even with his hearing aids) and having mild/serious dementia has also become less social over the last few years, so maybe I caught it from him!?

Take care, be kind to yourself ..... have a GREAT WEEKEND!!  xxx

I can still swing an axe @wendy55 but my surgeon, who had an absolute conniption when he found out I had regained my aim, told me it was a stupid thing to do. So I bought a hydraulic log splitter which means I can deal with all the big gnarly stuff everyone else leaves behind. All I have to do is heave it in and out of the trailer :/ Silver linings, hey?

@zoffiel @kezmusc - so glad Im not the only one for a penchant for the bad vices in life and it is never too early for bed - have a wine to help you sleep ;-)

@Zoffiel its never too early for bed, just come back from a walk on the beach in the drizzly rain and wind, very good for the soul,I used to love cutting up the firewood, every time I swung the axe, thought of someone I did not like!!!

Now I feel like an overtired toddler who should have had more than 3 hours sleep and less wine and cigarettes. Is it too early for bed?

You've pushed yourself pretty hard, Steph, and its not over yet, so no wonder you are feeling a little jaded. The mood swings thing is very difficult, particularly when you are at the low end. I was nearly ready to throw myself down the well a couple of weeks ago.
I knew if I went home after my interview yesterday I'd have made myself miserable 'what iffing'. So I took the hound, a trailer and my chainsaws with me into town (as you do) parked awkwardly where I shouldn't have, had a red hot go at selling myself then drove 150km to see a friend, cut a load of nice dry red gum, wandered around their house all night having online chats with odd people then drove home at first light. I'm what iffing' myself stupid now, but at least I've got a couple of weeks warming to show for it. Redneck rehab, the ultimate distraction.