Hey lovely.
It's ok to feel like that every so often. It's normal.
Those of us who normally "suck it up" or just put it away aren't used to it and it kind of feels like we are becoming someone else. That was one of my biggest fears also. If it makes you feel any better, I have been meaning to quit smoking all year. I swore I was going to do it after the cancer thing, but the will power is still a bit lacking in tackling the big jobs. you would think I would have dropped it like a hot potato, but no. It took me close to a year to start teaching riding again I just really couldn't be bothered. I was supposed to start another side to my business as well, but that still seems too big. I'm getting better though.
I also drink on the weekends. It makes me feel normal if that makes any sense, having a social with friends. Don't beat yourself up over it. In the big scope of things I don't think a weekend drink is going to make any difference. I guess there is this expectation that you are going to change your diet, exercise yourself to death and give up your vices but it just doesn't work like that does it.
I hope you feel better tomorrow.
No guilt, no regrets
xoxoxoxoxo