Aftermath

I have felt similar to you throughout my treatment, only I just get angry and yell crazy things (and apologise afterwards).

My theory is that it is a grieving process.

I googled ways to cope and Google doctor said:

1) build healthy self esteem (be respectful to yourself. Take responsibility for your actions). "The six pillars of self esteem" is a useful framework for this.

2) recognise and challenge unhelpful thoughts. (ie CBT techniques.)

3) reduce stress (be active. Control what you can)

4) learn assertiveness skills

5) get social support. 

I have found this list hopeful and inspiring. I hope you do too. Focusing on what I can do, rather than all I have lost (health, money, future plans, looks) is what I need to do. I don't have the skills yet but I'm working on it.

wishing you well.