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pennyy's avatar
pennyy
Member
13 years ago

Well...crap

How much crying can one person do??  Without the headaches that follow??

I know there is a song called "I don't like Mondays", but I've now found my own reasons to not like Mondays.  It was a Monday that I found the lump, a Monday that a diagnosis to cancer was confirmed, a Monday that I had all my chemo treatments, and this past Monday, I was diagnosed with secondary cancer in my lung.

Looking back, perhaps it's because I didn't make the lifestyle choices a cancer diagnosis should cause you to make, maybe I didn't take it seriously enough, maybe I should have been more insistant the doctors remove the lymph node under my sternum that they weren't sure about, maybe the meditation would have helped, maybe, maybe, maybe,

I will start chemo again (on Monday), and believe that whilst there will be no end date for chemo treatment, I plan on doing this for at least the next 20 years - the hospital might get sick of me, but I don't care, I will still be here (or there!).  With all the positive energy I feel around me, I know that the symptoms troubling me now, will subside, and I will feel much better and will have the energy to live my life again.

My friend wanted me to start blogging again, perhaps this time, I will stick to it more routinely and reach out to the people who know exactly what I'm going through - to cut out the things in my life that aren't working, and to embrace the things that make me happy.

I look forward to writing again, maybe after first new treatment

xxx

chemotherapy
coping

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  • helen_anne's avatar
    helen_anne
    Member
    13 years ago

    I realised late last night that you're part of the Yarra valley group which I joined (I live in Blackburn)!!

    I apologise for that but I'm so glad you like my thoughts...I am, by nature, a bit of a positive person so I always viewed this cancer thing as a challenge and test of strength for me.

    Just regarding the Yarra group - have you noticed this group doesn't seem to active?

    I have met a couple of the ladies from there for coffee on a Friday (when I don't work) and I was wondering if you want to do the same?

    I was also wondering how would you feel if I start up another group for us "easties" that is more active.

    I've tried to get in touch with the facilitator of the Yarra group but had no response (which worries me) but as it seems no one is facilitating and I'm constantly on the network I thought I'd start up another group - called it "Easties" and invite people to join including those who are part of Yarra ....then perhaps we could get together for coffee/cake every so often to give each other some support.

    Let me know how you feel about that.  I'll run it past a couple of the other members of Yarra too and see what they think.

    cheers for now

    Luv H

  • pennyy's avatar
    pennyy
    Member
    13 years ago
    Thanks, I know I can get through this, just wanted to be healthy a little longer. Hopefully treatment will help the breathing and I will start to feel better soon Thanks again everyone for the hugs and support. Penny
  • lanilumps71's avatar
    lanilumps71
    Member
    13 years ago
    If I can get through this with half of your fighting spirit then I know I have won!! Am sending you a huge hug!
  • helen_anne's avatar
    helen_anne
    Member
    13 years ago

    What a shock for you.  But at least you're thinking very positively - "20 yrs down the track etc".  I believe one way or another if this was meant to be, then it would happen - no matter what you did or didn't do.  Don't feel it's your fault by any means.

    I'm a bit philosophical about all this and figure that its a test of character, strength and love.  I try not to go down the "what if" scenerio as I figure it's a bit pointless as it's already happened.

    You need to put yourself first and learn to say 'no' if you don't want to do something.  Embrace life, do things you enjoy, try out some challenges - you never know it might be heaps of fun.

    But don't forget we are all here for you when you need to talk.

    Take care and go and relax in a lovely warm bath with lots of scented candles around it...play some lovely music too - does wonders for the body (and the soul!).

    Luv H

  • helen_anne's avatar
    helen_anne
    Member
    13 years ago

    What a shock for you.  But at least you're thinking very positively - "20 yrs down the track etc".  I believe one way or another if this was meant to be, then it would happen - no matter what you did or didn't do.  Don't feel it's your fault by any means.

    I'm a bit philosophical about all this and figure that its a test of character, strength and love.  I try not to go down the "what if" scenerio as I figure it's a bit pointless as it's already happened.

    You need to put yourself first and learn to say 'no' if you don't want to do something.  Embrace life, do things you enjoy, try out some challenges - you never know it might be heaps of fun.

    But don't forget we are all here for you when you need to talk.

    Take care and go and relax in a lovely warm bath with lots of scented candles around it...play some lovely music too - does wonders for the body (and the soul!).

    Luv H

  • pennyy's avatar
    pennyy
    Member
    13 years ago
    Thanks, guys!! I know it is said here often that us bc girls have to stick together and that we are here to vent and express our feelings, I don't want to do that too often, so feel free to tell me to Suck it up and beat it!!! The support here has always been amazing, I hope to inspire others to kick this once and for all Penny
  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    13 years ago

    I agree- it's nothing you did or didn't do -crap just happens.I am so sorry to hear your news-as if you haven't been through enough already.It's just so unfair.But I can see you have that fighting spirit and go get em attitude.Yes,do blog back here to get support from your pink sisters or to  just vent your feelings and frustrations.Good luck for next week when you start chemo - let us know how it goes.Sending a hug.

                                             Tonya xx