Sometimes...

I completely understand your feelings. I bet you lie awake in the dark thinking about what is going to happen to your children, things like keeping drug dealers and badgirl/badboys away from them etc. Who'going to hold them when they have a broken heart and the BIG one ......how are they going to cope without their mother for gods sake. I was 36 when my mother died and it shook me up good and proper and I was an an adult. I do believe children are resilient though and the best way to honour you will be to have a fantastic life....NEVER forget you but have a good life. Don't use it as an excuse to take drugs and do stupid things, find someone good to love them and not abuse them and above all be strong. I know your children are young (mine are teenagers) but if they bring death up talk to them about it. I've had some pretty sad but upfront conversations with one of mine. Every three weeks my hubby pulls up outside the hospital and in unison with a laugh say "God I'm sick of this" with a big laugh as i struggle to get my bod out of the car. Yes, I'm with you so totally sick of the whole thing but glad to be here. What is it about weddings, when I'm in the newsagent I avert my eyes from all those magazines as they make me feel very, very sad. So MandaMoo love those delightful looking children with all you've got and I'm sure they will grow strong from that.