New to the Team- not exactly happy about it

Hi, I’m so sorry you feel so lost but you’re not alone. I was diagnosed just after Xmas. I went for my 3 year post lumpectomy checkup (I was  told after the op it was very successful and no lymph node involvement) you’re one of the lucky ones, go live your life! 3 years later metastatic breast cancer in lungs and bones! They found out by accident looking for something else to do with surgical site being sore, ordered cat scan and found cancer in my lungs!

it’s been a shock but what can you do? I’m glad I found this site though. Lots of people with great advice, compassion and reassurance.  My advice to you is keep reaching out, keep getting as much info as you can from reputable sites, try and remember there are new drugs being worked on now for the near future which are even better than the ones we have now. 

I hope you have a good support around you. Try to keep yourself busy and remember although Metastatic cancer is a big part of your life now, it doesn’t define you.

Sending virtual hugs your way 🤗

ps so funny! I did exactly the same thing! Got rid of heaps of clutter, clothes, paper work etc… got my photos in photo albums, I even started contacting people I hadn’t seen or heard from in years! Believe me, it’s all part of the process x

Hi CocoBean71,

I'm so very sorry that you've joined our club. I was diagnosed straight up with MBC 11 mths ago & I can remember exactly feeling all of your emotions. Its so awful & overwhelming & so very scary, but I can tell you that it does get easier as time goes on & you start your treatment. Take a day at a time, or sometimes it might be an hour by a time. Reach out to friends & family & accept their support. I have a fantastic village of support & i couldn't have survived without them. Take it easy & remember to breath x

Hi CocoBean71​ I’m sorry to hear what you're going through but so glad you reached out for support. The speed of all can feel like a shock, and the fear you’re feeling makes complete sense. Many have stood right where you are,  and over time it does get more managable. It's great to see the community here offering their support, please do reach out to us on the Helpline on 1800 500 258 Mon-Fri 9-5 AEDT if you need to chat anything through. 

HiCocoBean71​ I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and each rolling wave of discovery that you encountered. That you found your way to this network is a good thing asarpie​ has wisely shared, you have come to a place where there will be people who have stood in your shoes and who will relate to your questions, your feelings and experience.

With your science and law combination you are doubly “blessed” (or burdened) with the ability to envisage multiple variables and probably an appetite for more information. 
It sounds like you’ve worked out that how you’re feeling right now is not going to be sustainable: I salute your request to be put in touch with a psychologist. 
arpie​ has mentioned the private groups you can join (I am in the invasive lobular group). These are immensely valuable, people are very generous and wise. 
I found BCNA’s podcasts called “What You Don’t Know Until You Do” on the BCNA website helpful when my mind was racing. No disrespect to the speakers but they’re quite good to doze off to if you’re having trouble sleeping… 

I just did a quick search and wondered if these two episodes could be helpful 
Series 2 Episode 1 about anxiety  

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/podcasts/what-you-dont-know-until-you-do-unlimited/what-you-dont-know-until-you-do-unlimited/season-2-episode-1-a-mixed-dozen-anxiety-in-a-cancer-context

And Series 2 Episode 4 about dealing with metastatic bc

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/podcasts/what-you-dont-know-until-you-do-unlimited/what-you-dont-know-until-you-do-unlimited/season-2-episode-4-bittersweet-living-with-metastatic-disease 

Your honest and thoughtful analysis of how your life is changing seems to be a secret sauce - it sounds as if adapting to new contexts is something you do, eg like your mid-career re-qualification and professional shift. Having said that I hear what you’re dealing with here is crummy and involuntary, so sending hope that, in time your adaptability might help.

Sending you lots of positive energy and support from the people around you to keep your spirits in hand and wishing you relief and Big hugs. 

I am so sorry to see you joining us here, CocoBean71​ - specially with your MBC diagnosis straight up.  :(  That is a huge shock to the system  xx.  ANY BC diagnosis mucks with your brain -  Oh gosh - don't empty your house too much!!  You need to have your bits around you, to comfort & support you xx

Make sure you have a trusted friend or family member for your follow up to today's PET scan xx.  The extra set of ears will help & also the physical support as well xx. I'd suggest you also record your appts from now on too - to go over them at home, as it is impossible to remember everything that is said, at the time xx

Absolutely - they are SO MUCH BETTER at treating MBC these days - that it is almost considered similar to some 'chronic' diseases with the use of specific meds and immunotherapy ..... l have friends who are 8-10+ years into their MBC & Prostate diagnoses and they are living full & productive lives xx. Sending you big hugs xx.  

I hope your BCN gets back to you asap?  They should become the first person to put your questions to (as well as the Mets group here xx) ... also - please ring our own Helpline, 1800500258, for a personal one-on-one chat xx

Please consider joining the Metastatic Private group,
Group: Living with metastatic breast cancer | BCNA Online Network
where you can chat with others with the same diagnosis - and also the ILC Private group too, as ILC is different to the 'normal' BC diagnoses.
Group: Invasive Lobular Cancer (ILC) | BCNA Online Network

In the mean time, try & keep yourself as busy as you can in between appts & treatment, doing stuff that you LOVE doing. xx It helps shift the brain away from the 'what ifs'!  Stay away from Dr Google .... most of what you look at isn't relevant to your own diagnosis - so please don't go down those rabbit holes! xx

take care and all the best for your ongoing appointments xx.  Keep updating us here, so we can help support you xx