Im new here

Hi There
I'm new here too.  18 months into living with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.  I live overseas at the moment, but am from Australia.  It's lonely not having a support network around me.  All the other patients at the hospital I attend have a different first language than me - communication on a basic level is challenging - so at an emotional level is virtually impossible.  I am really fortunate that I am in a country where I can get Ibrance, which I take with Fermera.  So far it is blasting away most of the cancer.  Just finished short, but large dose, radiation for the stubborn sternum cancer.  Fingers crossed everyday.  Working full time and raising teens.  
I have a question - I can see that there is a private group (under groups section), but cannot work out how to join.  Advice. 

Hi @Bird  Everything that @kmakm said.  The only thing I can add is that I found walking helped me - for some reason it was the only time that my thoughts could sort themselves out.  I'd often come home and blurt it all out on my blog or this site!  I'm not in your position and so don't like to advise too much but scared is scared. Do try to take it one step at a time - easier said than done but it really is the only way.  Do you have a treatment plan?  Knowing what your pathway is going to be, even if it may change, may help.  

No worries @Bird. Do you have psychologist or counsellor? I know they're not for everyone. I was hesitant but desperately needed help so took the plunge. I've found it very helpful. I see a community funded psychologist (so affordable) who's been treating breast cancer patients for 12 years. There's nothing she hasn't heard. If this is a path you want to pursue, ask all your medical team who they'd recommend. It's important to find someone you 'click' with, so it might take some time to find the right person.

Do you have a BreastCare Nurse? They can be incredible, and a great resource. Can you talk to her as often as you need? Do you feel better when you do?

Staying in the moment is a key for managing fear. Easy to say but harder to do! BC brought me to meditation, via apps on my phone. There are lots out there; I settled on Headspace. The guy who does this had cancer himself so brings an understanding to his practice. There's even a mediation pack there for cancer.

I'm not very good at meditating but it does do something. I find it hard to define, but each time it seems to create some space in my head that wasn't there 15 minutes earlier. And it does tell and teach you to stay in the moment, to take one day at a time, focus on the moment, to stay in it.

Activities that occupy your mind are good. Playing music uses both sides of your brain; hard to think of anything else when you're playing an instrument.

Good old fashioned relaxation, and distraction. Many find doing a big puzzle great for this! I found the distraction of a (not too heavy) TV show to be the only thing that helped me when I was frantic and distraught at the beginning of this BC experience. Anything to not be all up in my head and emotions.

Are you a religious person? I'm not, but I know talking frequently to a minister brought my sister great comfort.

I am not in your position and would never presume to know how it feels. What I do know is that no one knows the date of their death. It is good for all of us to focus on staying in the moment, to live our lives one day at a time, and make the most of every one of those days. Be kind to yourself, accept help, surround yourself with friends and family, or seek solitude if that's what you need. One foot in front of the other, and breathe deeply. Big, big hugs. K xox

Hello everyone
thankyou for your warm welcome.  Sorry it's taken me so long to reply.  I don't have any strategies for managing my fear and would appreciate some advice.

I actaullay kept working all the way through my treatment. With AC one week at home two weeks back at work. So, am just working and being a mum to two boys -17 and 5. With TNBC there are no more options for me. So, I’m trying to just get on with it. Trying to keep my 10,000 steps a day. 

@RachaelBB Are you doing anything in particular for survivorship now, or doing your best getting back to normal, new or otherwise?

Hi @kmakm
I have recently finished all my treatment. I’m triple negative and did 4 cycles AC and 12 cycles Tax plus carbo in Singapore. I did 5 weeks radiation here and finished end Feb.
x

kmakm said:

@RachaelBB It sure has been the place for me on this rollercoaster so far. I lurked for a long time. Results to my Googled questions kept throwing up answers from here. I hesitated so long, but in the end I dipped my toe in and it's been invaluable for me. I hope it helps you.

If you're happy to say, tell us where you're at in your treatment  :) K xox

It's bloody awful @Bird. Have you got some strategies for managing the fear? Big bear hug. K xox

@RachaelBB It sure has been the place for me on this rollercoaster so far. I lurked for a long time. Results to my Googled questions kept throwing up answers from here. I hesitated so long, but in the end I dipped my toe in and it's been invaluable for me. I hope it helps you.

If you're happy to say, tell us where you're at in your treatment  :) K xox