I can't connect with my diagnosis..
Hi there, This is my first post for 5 years. A month ago, I was diagnosed with metastatic bc in my spine and rib, 5 years almost to the day of my initial diagnosis. I am perfectly well, and it was pic...
Forum Discussion
Well Ella Mary that sucks arse big time.
I haven't had the same diagnosis as you but thus far I've never had a ton of bricks moment.
I'm sure you know there's no right or wrong way to respond to any news of this magnitude. It's possible your psyche is trying to protect you in some way. Psychologists say denial is unhealthy and can lead to PTSD, but it doesn't sound like you're in denial. More that you are searching for a handle to put on it, and like all of us, seeking to control the flow of information in a situation that inherently lacks control.
I'm no authority but I'd say first and foremost to be kind to yourself. To not put any expectations on your reactions and emotions. You feel what you feel and there's no wrong here! So let yourself off the hook.
Calm can be very good and it sounds like you have plenty going on in your life that requires as much calm as possible. My husband and I had to break the news of my diagnosis to my 8 yo niece and 12yo nephew 17 months after their mother died from this bastard disease. We are raising them, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You choose when and how you tell people, if you want to. Mass email, email chain, FB page, however. Put a circle of close friends in charge. Say you don't want to discuss it at the moment and leave it at that. I did and was left magnificently alone with it until I was ready.
You might want to slot in a bit of counselling if you feel you're having genuine trouble connecting with the diagnosis. You do have to grapple with it in order to commence treatment. Once that's under way you may very well be able to pretty much ignore it and carry on more or less normally. You could give the lovely nurses on the BCNA helpline a ring to start with, 1800 500 258. They should be able to point you in the right direction.
There's a private metastatic group here which you could join if/when you want. The people there will have more insight than I do. And there's the BCNA Hopes and Hurdles kit that could help too. Have you got that?
My heart goes out to you and I'm sending a big bear hug your way. Kate xox
I haven't had the same diagnosis as you but thus far I've never had a ton of bricks moment.
I'm sure you know there's no right or wrong way to respond to any news of this magnitude. It's possible your psyche is trying to protect you in some way. Psychologists say denial is unhealthy and can lead to PTSD, but it doesn't sound like you're in denial. More that you are searching for a handle to put on it, and like all of us, seeking to control the flow of information in a situation that inherently lacks control.
I'm no authority but I'd say first and foremost to be kind to yourself. To not put any expectations on your reactions and emotions. You feel what you feel and there's no wrong here! So let yourself off the hook.
Calm can be very good and it sounds like you have plenty going on in your life that requires as much calm as possible. My husband and I had to break the news of my diagnosis to my 8 yo niece and 12yo nephew 17 months after their mother died from this bastard disease. We are raising them, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You choose when and how you tell people, if you want to. Mass email, email chain, FB page, however. Put a circle of close friends in charge. Say you don't want to discuss it at the moment and leave it at that. I did and was left magnificently alone with it until I was ready.
You might want to slot in a bit of counselling if you feel you're having genuine trouble connecting with the diagnosis. You do have to grapple with it in order to commence treatment. Once that's under way you may very well be able to pretty much ignore it and carry on more or less normally. You could give the lovely nurses on the BCNA helpline a ring to start with, 1800 500 258. They should be able to point you in the right direction.
There's a private metastatic group here which you could join if/when you want. The people there will have more insight than I do. And there's the BCNA Hopes and Hurdles kit that could help too. Have you got that?
My heart goes out to you and I'm sending a big bear hug your way. Kate xox