I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2015. I was told it had spread to my liver & lymph nodes in my chest. The cancer started slowly growing in my liver last year, so tried two different types of chemo. Abraxane didn't work at all so was taken off that within 6 weeks. I was on Eribulin for around six months. The CT scan showed that the Eribulin was keeping the cancer stable in the liver & chest, but my tumour markers were going up. So my oncologist was concerned so sent me off for a bone scan last week. Today I have been told the cancer has spread into my bones in my lower back, legs & left arm. I thought we had the cancer under control. Obviously not! I am very upset by this news. I feel numb! The reality is starting to set in for me that I will not see my kids grow into teenagers. I am sorry if this sounds morbid to some people but it is my reality. The tears are flowing now....

Hi all. Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling much better this weekend. My gorgeous little boy turned 8 & it was a weekend celebrating with family and friends. Life goes on!! I am starting a new chemo called Caelyx next Wednesday. Wish me luck. Let's hope this new treatment works on those pesky mets xxx

Hi @angg66,Sorry to hear your sad news,the ladies have pretty much covered everything, just wanted to let you know that I too have tumours in my liver and all through my spine, I understand, I get it!!, there is not a lot more that I can add, I hope you get some comfort from just knowing that you are not alone, we are here, we care and understand, on June 28th it will be 5 years since my diagnosis and I am still here, one day at a time,I am currently on Zeloda, a oral form of chemo, which has for me been successful, I have been on it for 2 years,my partner and I have just had a lovely 3 day break at a Otis Foundation retreat, a breath of fresh air, change of scenery, to recharge my batteries,please, be kind, be gentle on yourself and I hope that your family are taking very good care of you, you can DO this,listen to your body,and just breathe, sometimes thats all we need to do, I enjoy the smaller things in life now, stage 4 shows you whats important and whats not, yes its bloody hard and very unfair, to just be in the moment, is what I have had to learn, also to be a little bit selfish as well, do what makes YOU happy, trust in your medical team that they will find the right treatment just for you,in this next stage of your life,keep warm,would love very much to give you a hug and have a little cry with you, but distance prevents that, so please know that you are in my thoughts as we put one foot in front of the other and get through the days ahead,wendy55

I feel your pain and most of us on here however I'm stage 4 too and similar locations.. I've faced the horrible demons we all do however I believe breast cancer is the best cancer to get if one is unfortunate enough to have to be a recipient. It is so well funded and all the time new drugs are appearing to help us combat the monster within us . I make sure I do not leave it to only my medical team but me too by only providing my body each day with the best nutrition I possibly can ..rule number one...it doesn't go in my mouth if it contains sugar as cancer loves sugar hence the pet scan ...adding glucose to attract the cancer. And everyday I push myself to exercise as I feel empowered it makes me feel in control a lot more ...you see Angg we may have this but a healthy fit you can fight it more .Not one person in my country town knows I have stage four cancer I even hid my hair loss for a long time. They all just think I'm a fit healthy person and sometimes when they tell me their woes I silently think if only you knew mine with a smile....you can fight this you can ..and while your doing it things will become available to help you and me ...look everyday at our beautiful days and believe you can fight this fight because you are in control and fight to win . No talk of dying ...just take control you are much stronger than you know....

I absolutely get how sad you are over the situation and your very real fears of seeing your children grow up.But...Remember that bone metastasis can be treated really well with radiotherapy and surgery. It is good the treatment has reduced the liver mets. I'm sure your team has ideas for your ongoing treatment. But we so get how you feel. It's okay and normal to have tears and fears. XDo check in and let us know how you get on. Kath x

Here here Wendy :) congrats on the 5 year anniversary I too have now entered my 3rd year and will soldier on living as you say a different life but a good one .AS usual your always full of wonderful advice one day I hope I am too ....hugz to you my cyber friend..

Feeling numb & sad as cancer is spreading

tigerbeth
Member
7 years ago
Oh dear @angg66 my heart bleeds for you ! What a rotten hand you've been dealt , no wonder your tears are flowing .
No words of wisdom from me as I haven't walked in your shoes (metastatic)
Sending you love ,hugs & healing thoughts xxx
Giovanna_BCNA
Member
7 years ago
Hello @angg66 sending you a private message
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
My thoughts are with you Ang. I have no words that could possibly help. This disease is an absolute bastard. If I could I'd give you a big cuddle and let your tears soak my shoulder. K xox
PatsyN
Member
7 years ago
@angg66 I'm crying with you. Life can dish up such nasty things for some and yet others cruise thru with barely a crisis to deal with. I've watched 3 of my 5 children battle their demons as one by one they became mentally ill. Just when I thought my life was manageable and my children were all settled (relatively so) 12 months ago I'm diagnosed with breast cancer. It was Stage IIIC before radiation but I hadn't yet had my metastatic workup. My feeling, and that of the radiologist, was that it would be unlikely the cancer had not spread further, due to its size (10cms) and no clear nodes anywhere to be found. I tried to prepare myself for the worst case scenario but when told I was clear of cancer I felt no relief at all. It made a huge difference to my children but it's not over yet. Oncologist tomorrow, ultrasound in 2 weeks and then CT scan again in 3 months.
I've thought a lot about dying and the more preparation you have and the more notice you get the better it is for everyone. I would hate to die suddenly and without reason. I feel that as shitty as things can get if you feel that you control your destiny then it's easier to bear.
I'm still crying with you.
xo
Anonymous
7 years ago
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Zoffiel
Member
7 years ago
So sorry, Ang. Mxx
Sister
Member
7 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear this, Ang. Leaving our kids is a heartbreaking thought. Cry a river if you need to. Then make some really good memories for them. Thinking of you.
onemargie
Member
7 years ago
Hi there love. That bloody sucks this disease is a total bitch thats for sure. Have you joined the Mets group? There is a great bunch of ladies on there who can give you support too. I’m sure your oncol will try all the options to keep the nasties at bay. Thinking of you. Perhaps you can contact the Otis foundation and organise a few days away for you and your family. It’s all free. Sounds like you could do with one. Biggest hug of all love. Margie. Xxx
Kiwi_Angel
Member
7 years ago
@angg66. So incredibly sorry for u - sending u the hugest of hugs xoxoox
AllyJay
Member
7 years ago
@angg66...There are no words I can say, but sending my love and the biggest (((hug))).