Im new at this...

Totally normal to have the ups and downs. Some days you'll feel like you've got this, others not. The thing to remember is that no feeling is final.

My advice to you is to stop looking at the whole picture. I was massively guilty of this. My day to day life is complex (click on my @ to get a summary) and my diagnosis seemed disastrous. The good folk here instantly told me to just focus on the day, even the hour, to get through it. It takes a bit of mental discipline to master, but it's truly beneficial. You have to be kind to yourself at this time, and remaining present is the best way to do it.

So, today @TerriSteve, what do you need to do to get through to bedtime? Get some exercise, do the shopping, watch an episode of your favourite show, call your mum, get a present for a friend... whatever it is, just focus on doing that, and tomorrow will take care of itself.

When it comes to going in for chemo, a little bit of planning as to what and who you want to take (or not) is all you need to worry about. On the day just know how you're getting there and how you're getting home, and let the rest take care of itself. You don't know how you'll react any more than the rest of us, including your doctors. Some people sail through! Most of us manage without the extreme side effects. So just sit back and ride the waves as they come.

My therapist has hammered into me 'no predictive grief'. So no anticipating troubles that may never arise. Just some preparation like a good Scout is all you need.

It is important to ask for help if you need it. This was a hard lesson to learn for me, but a necessary one. Be it from the oncology nurses (if you are absolutely petrified on the day, tell them), your doctors, a therapist, your friends, your family or anyone at all. I remember once during chemo I had a full load of supermarket shopping in the trolley but halfway down to the car park the travelator broke. I was standing trying to work out where the lift was when two people stopped and then carried my trolley down the travelator. People love to help. They've studied it and the happiest human beings are volunteers! If it was your friend going through cancer, you'd want to help them, so please, when people offer to help, accept it. And if they don't offer (which is a thing because some people aren't sure what to do), ask them.

The end result of all this is that I have never felt more loved than when I was going through chemo. Bizarre but true!

There are some fun and nice things to do along the way. You can attend a Look Good Feel Better workshop, and book in for a free holiday with The Otis Foundation.

https://lgfb.org.au/

http://www.otisfoundation.org.au/

@Caz1 is bang on when she says to go for a walk everyday during chemo. It reduces the side effects, and makes you feel as if you are doing something at a time when a lot of stuff is being done to you.

So, yank those big girl undies up to your chin! You've got this. We'll help you through. Keep your eyes on the prize:  a cancer free life. Big hug, K xox

Hello @TerriSteve
You are doing great with your posts, I have split this post from the original thread you posted in so members can reply to your directly. Dont hesitate to call our helpline on 1800 500 258 if you would like to speak with a cancer nurse for information and or support.  All the best,

And Thankyou everyone for being sooo patient with me cause I’m no good with computers either 🙃🙃

Caz1 said:

Hi @TerriSteve,  take one day at a time. Or one hour at a time. As @kmakm says on another post, chemo is grotty but doable.
 You got this, you will be ok. You just gotta ride the wave. :)
Oncol nurses are a special breed of person, they will help you through. Ask them questions too. The  wonderful sisterhood online here is here for you too.  :)
The other main advice I would give is try and get out on a walk every day. Some days you really have to force yourself, and you may only make it a short way. But get out, it’s good for your soul, clears your head and helps your symptoms to be milder. It also helps to pump your chemo through your tumour better. So many benefits. 
Side effects, yep they suck. But they come and go, and  I always tried to laugh at them. My kids thought they had a mad woman for a mum! They would be correct, haha!

Sending hugs xx

Hi Caz1 Thanks so very much to you and everyone for all the amazing wonderful advice, I truely appreciate it with all of my heart 😘😘 But I still feel totally petrified especially since I do not cope well with anything medical like hospitals doctors nurses and especially needles they freak me out and I get all overwhelmed with everything. How do you and all the amazing people here have strength and toughness like how can I get that? And is it normal to have ups and downs if that makes sense? And I want you to know and everyone else here that I’m here for you all as well and I want to be able to help everyone through it all to. 

Hi @TerriSteve,  take one day at a time. Or one hour at a time. As @kmakm says on another post, chemo is grotty but doable.
 You got this, you will be ok. You just gotta ride the wave. :)
Oncol nurses are a special breed of person, they will help you through. Ask them questions too. The  wonderful sisterhood online here is here for you too.  :)
The other main advice I would give is try and get out on a walk every day. Some days you really have to force yourself, and you may only make it a short way. But get out, it’s good for your soul, clears your head and helps your symptoms to be milder. It also helps to pump your chemo through your tumour better. So many benefits. 
Side effects, yep they suck. But they come and go, and  I always tried to laugh at them. My kids thought they had a mad woman for a mum! They would be correct, haha!

Sending hugs xx

Hi @TerriSteve,

Chemo is the big bad nasty of the group.  It scares the heck out of everybody until you get started.  It's that fear of "how will my body handle it".  It stinks for sure but a lot of us don't get anywhere near the amount of "possible" side effects that are on that very very long daunting list.
I had the standard cocktail of AC-T.  While the AC was a bit rugged I functioned relatively normally, managed to work part time and did all of my usual things.  Taxol was far easier with only minor issues. 
For me, the more normality I had in my life the easier it was to get through.  I chose a big job (renovate my dining room) that I thought should take six months and that's what I put my time into.  It gave me a focus that was totally non cancer related. 
 
I had minimal issues with radiation.  No fatigue and only minor burning towards the end. The biggest pain was driving there every day.  
Take lots of photos of anything normal you do with friends and family during this time. That way when you look back on that part of your life it's not all about the cancer. I did this quite by accident but am so glad I did.
All the best lovely.
xoxoxox
.

Rads is usually done after chemo.  Many girls find Radiation to be much easier than chemo - at least I did (not that I 'did' chemo - but I nursed my husband thru his chemo 10 years ago.)  In my mind's eye, I'd built it up to be a demon - but it wasn't half bad, to be honest, so long as you keep up the lotions & potions to the skin during treatment!  Tho, because it is daily treatment (Mon-Fri for about 4 weeks) you DO become strangely reliant on these lovely people!  They really do become a part of your 'inner circle' - so much so, that by the time I was approaching my last treatment, I was strangely upset & sobbed thru my last treatment.   

Where abouts are you?  Town/City (you can add it to your 'profile')  It will make it easier for members to let you know of specific treatments/services in your area.  There were no rads treatment areas in my town, so I went to the closest big centre that did - and I was able to stay 'on site' in 'motel type' accommodation that made it SO easy to just walk 2 minutes to the cancer clinic..   each day.  My husband stayed with me - almost a holiday - and we would go home on weekends as we lived 1 & 1/2hrs away.

Take care - others with chemo experience will jump on soon xxx  Do you know what regime of chemo you'll be having?  Not everyone has nasty side effects - tho most have some. xx

Thanks so much arpie I’d REALLY APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE to get through chemo and radiation 🥺🥺🥺

Gosh, you've been thru the mill already, @TerriSteve - I hope you you are recovering well from your surgery - I am so sorry your diagnosis came right on Xmas.

Yep, I'd be pissed off too.  But you can do this ..... I was lucky & missed out on having to do chemo - I just had the Rads & Tabs - but others will give you all the tips on helping cope with the chemo.  xx

Take care, and know that we are here for you xx