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angea's avatar
angea
Member
8 hours ago

Sad and lonely

Hi everyone. I’m new here, recently diagnosed with high grade DCIS. I had a wide excision to remove the DCIS and margins. Results showed small amounts of invasive cancer in the margins, so a week  ago I had another surgery to remove that invasive tissue and a few lymph nodes. 
I’ve been coping with everything pretty well and have a loving supportive family. I also have a huge network of friends. However, today, I’m sad. Like tears won’t stop. I haven’t had anyone visit me this week - I get it, people have lives and are busy, but I feel forgotten and as if people think it’s all over now… I don’t get results from second surgery until 2 June so the waiting is torture. I don’t understand why I am being so unreasonable about the lack of visitors!! Does anyone else feel this way? I also have a colleague going through BC treatment. She had a double mastectomy and is amazing- turns up to work straight after her surgery and seems to be coping so well. I feel like I can’t be honest about my feelings at work as my diagnosis is not that bad. Again, this makes me feel so selfish! 

coping
dcis
emotions
work

4 Replies

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  • Cath62's avatar
    Cath62
    Member
    2 hours ago

    angea it's about them, not you. I had great support from husband and my son and his family. My friends are ok but they didn't do anything out of the ordinary. A couple visited but most just kept going with life. They would continue to invite me and I would go out if I was able too. I've never had anyone offer me a lift, cook a meal or do extra stuff for me. I did a Facebook post and even said what help I needed and only one person responded with a meal voucher. I guess i have learnt to expect nothing and take great joy when something wonderful happens. It is disappointing sometimes but your here, your doing ok and everything will get better. Perhaps life is showing you what it is you can focus on. Stay hopeful and enjoy the special moments. Best wishes 

  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    2 hours ago

    SO Sorry to see you joining our 'club', angea​ - the one no-one ever thought they'd join  :(   You've had 2 lots of surgeries & are still in recovery - so it is pretty natural to be a bit sad  - Let your tears flow .... I think many of us have gone thru some sadness, even a bit of depression now & then .... iserbrown​ has given some great advice - I am sure that chatting with our helpline on Monday morning will help you xx

    Also, Consider checking out Charlotte Tottman's podcasts on her own cancer story - she is a specialist cancer psychologist who was diagnosed herself with BC and had a double mastectomy, choosing to remain flat.   She 'thought' she knew what most of the 'procedure' would be - so was really surprised when she had similar reactions to her own clients ... and she talks about it, what she expected vs what happened.  She is very easy to listen to - You can just listen to individual sessions, or just start at the 1st one & work your way thru.  xx    What You Don't Know Until You Do ....
    http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

    Sadly, this diagnosis mucks more with our brains even more than your body, I reckon ... I just try & keep myself as busy as I can, doing things I love doing. This all depends on your recovery too - just do 'stuff' as you are able to  xx    

    Take care & all the best

  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    3 hours ago

    https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/treatments/dcis-treatment/dcis-grades-and-pathology/

     

    The BCNA website is a wealth of information 

    Hopefully this link or a search of the website may help you

     

  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    3 hours ago

    Welcome to the forum and being so honest in where you feel you are at emotionally. 

    What you will find is support comes from the most unexpected places!  Friends, family, as you noted, have their own lives, issues et cetera   

    Comparing yourself to someone else, a work colleague isn't helping you.  It's a so and so however everyone handles it in their own way.  Your colleague has her way, you have yours.  Don't feel selfish - it’s a major event in your life.

    Perhaps ringing BCNA Helpline or engaging with a Psychologist may help you.  Acceptance is the key.

    Find time to take a deep breath, make a cuppa or enjoy a wander in the fresh air!

    Best wishes for your further results

    Take care