Haunted house roller coaster

Woohoo @kmakm.  Another tick off the list.  My last appointment  I waltzed on through reception etc,  hit the door to doc's office and started to shake terribly and kind of just zoned out.   It's so weird, you think you're ok and then some weird switch in your brain is flicked and triggers that fear again.   AAAggggh. 

Hope you feel better.  xoxox

Just had my one year check up with the breast surgeon. All good, nothing of concern that he can see or feel.

I was considerably more anxious than I anticipated and am quite upset now, also unexpectedly. I f*****g hate this BC shit.

@Blossom1961  ... I can 'tear up' just THINKING about a situation that may affect me, let alone anyone else - I don't even have to wait for it to happen any more!  

I think it is our natural empathy with others who are ABOUT to go thru something we've already been thru  - that may bring on tears and 'keep us' humane!   

Yep - as @Sarnicad says - bad luck!  Get used to it.  It shows that we are humane & have feelings for others.

We are not doing things 'by the book' but from experience    xxx   Experience counts!!  xx

@Blossom1961 I say tears these days are a normal reaction to a stressful situation. Anyone who doesn’t like it can suck it up

sounds like your new nurses are brilliant rather than sadists like some are

@kezmusc I will speak to the onco day nurses next treatment. The scan nurse (not the onco ones) this morning tried to use the one on the inside of the elbow (not sure what to call that area, you know, the inside bendy bit) and got it in but couldn’t get it in far enough for the contrast dye. She later found out I didn’t need it 😒My new onco nurses seem very interested in keeping pain to a minimum.

Bugger @Blossom1961.  Have you tried a vein a bit higher up your arm?  I know they want to save them just in case for emergency but too bad)  I ended up refusing to have it in my hand.  Too painful. I even had one of the phlebotomist put it in an vein on the outside of my forearm which was bloody awesome.  Couldn't feel a thing.

@kezmusc The nurses heat pack my hand for up to fifteen minutes beforehand but they still struggle to get the cannula in. Strange thing is, before chemo I had fantastic veins. I had most of my AC and Paclitaxel infusions via my port but my veins still shrunk? Doesn’t make sense. My port was taken out during mx as I had a lot of problems with it so now we need to do all cannula. Blood tests are fine. Nine more treatments to go, just nine more, only nine...........
 

Hate those tears you can't control especially when you were perfectly fine 5 minutes before and 5 minutes after.  Never  happens when I am not taking you know what.  

@Blossom1961 could you get yourself a heat pack to use before hand for scans and things? 

 it really does help a lot.  I had to keep my veins heated through every chemo or the infusion would sting as it went in.
 I put them on about 5 mins prior to cannulation and then just sat them on top of the canula while things were running.  

@Blossom1961 Well medical procedure difficulties and these ridiculous extra tears we're now lumbered with is extra insulting after the lovely time we had yesterday! I'm similar. I never used to tear up other than if I stubbed my toe really badly or if I was watching babies being born on tv. My kids used to give me a hard time for being such a hard arse! Not any more. I started to cry just walking round the supermarket the other day for no reason other than I was overcome with a sudden wave of sadness.

It sounds like you're in a good facility now though. You look after yourself please. Extra kindness and gentleness with you for the rest of the day. Big hug, K xox

Blossom1961 I have PTSD from my treatment and previous things in life. Do get it checked ok