still in shock

I'm sorry that you have to be here. Welcome to the community. 
Hugs

Dear @May20019

from jennyss in Western NSW

I can't add to what has already been said, except to agree with it all.
We all process this diagnosis differently, just like we all react to treatment differently. But I firmly believe that the grief hits us all in some way, at some point. For me, most reactions didn't come until all treatment was over. I started chemo 4&1/2 weeks after my diagnostic mammogram.  
From the day of that mammogram I put one foot in front of the other to get through

Do what works for you, let the tears flow. You've heard that 3 word phrase "you have cancer", or a variation of it. It's life changing.

Take care

The speed things often move at with breast cancer whilst reassuring in some ways (and necessary) leaves us reeling in shock. Five weeks ago your life was “normal”, you probably have barely had time to think, now your brain is catching up and it’s no wonder it’s protesting. Be kind to yourself, there is no such thing as an invalid feeling xx 

Hi @May20019. I was white hot with anger for three weeks, and then I sobbed for a month. I'm not joking. I cried multiple times a day. Never in front of the kids, but at any other moment, especially in the shower. I could have won a gold medal for Australia for crying. Ihave a particular back story (read my bio) that provided some extenuating circumstances, but I was a sensible 51 year old woman who previously didn't cry much.

My tears slowed down once chemo got underway, but let your tears flow. You are shocked, and grieving. However if you feel you're getting stuck in your grief, go and see a counsellor for a few sessions. It's good to talk things out.

What you are feeling now will pass. It's just a pity that we have to go through it to come out the other side. Big, big hug, K xox

Hi @May20019,

Welcome to the forum lovely.

There is nothing that can prepare you for the shock and white hot fear of being told you have cancer.  Your head and emotions are all over the place at the beginning.  I think we all aknowledge the fact that "it could be worse" but that doesn't mean it's not a huge mortality check and scares the heck out of you.
Nobody can quite understand how you feel like someone who has been in there.  The emotions that run from "I got this" to cloudy fog of despair and tears.

We understand where you're at.

xoxoxoxo

Welcome @May20019 It's true that you have to take the wins where you can but there's no taking away the shock and feeling of betrayal of a breast cancer diagnosis.  You will move through this stage but it does take time.  You'll find support here from people who understand.

Never apologise for feelings. This is happning to you and whilst it can be helpful to acknowledge the positives it doesn't take away the fact that. ..you have a diagnosis of breast cancer. ..and with that comes all the fears, tears and unknowns that go with that.

We all get it.

We are here to support you anyway we can. Kath x